This Is Why
by dS-Tiff
Summary: Stella finds herself holding the baby - albeit temporarily - and Ray is forced to confront old feelings, but there's danger just around the corner.
1. Chapter 1

_**This story is set towards the end of Season 3/4 of due South. I've always been interested in exploring the reasons for Ray and Stella's divorce and this fic looks at one of them in particular. This isn't really a kidfic...although parts of it were written especially for my friend Vic32 who loves the kidfic genre. I hope you all enjoy it, all reviews and comments welcome. Thank you kindly.**_

**THIS IS WHY**

**CHAPTER 1.**

"Good morning. You've reached the Canadian Consulate, Constable Benton Fraser speaking. How may I be of assistance?"

It was a dull, grey morning in Chicago and Diefenbaker was pleased that Inspector Thatcher had instructed Fraser to wait in for an important telephone call this morning. The last thing the wolf wanted was a walk in this weather. So far the call for the German Ambassador had not come and Fraser had been using the time to work on a report for Lieutenant Welsh about a case him and Ray – his unofficial partner at the Chicago PD – had recently closed.

Dief yawned as Fraser recited his familiar telephone greeting. He wondered if this was the call the Inspector was so concerned about, or if it was just another tourist with a stupid question.

It was neither.

"Fraser, it's Stella. Stella Kowalski."

Fraser was surprised to hear the Assistant States Attorney's voice. He and Ray had not been working on any cases with her recently and Stella was not known for making social calls to her ex-husband's best friend.

"Ms Kowalski, if you're trying to reach Ray I'm afraid he's not here," began Fraser, but Stella interrupted him.

"Actually Fraser it's you I want to speak to," she said.

"Oh," replied Fraser. Stella sounded tired, but he couldn't imagine what she might want to talk to him about this morning.

"I need your help," she explained with a sigh. "I need someone I can trust. This has to remain between us. I can trust you, can't I? I mean, you're a Mountie."

"Of course," replied Fraser. The notion that all Mounties were completely trustworthy was, of course, erroneous, but in Fraser's case it was the truth.

"Thank you," replied Stella with relief. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I have a friend staying with me," she began to explain, "and she's sick. I was hoping you could come over and take a look at her for me. Please."

Fraser was confused. "I…I'd be happy to," he replied, "but surely your friend needs a doctor, not a policeman?"

Stella let out a long, slow breath. "This is where it gets complicated." It had taken a lot for her to pick up the phone and dial Fraser's number, but she'd realised she couldn't manage the situation she was in alone any more. "My friend, Silvina, was a material witness in a case I successfully prosecuted a few months ago. However, she is not an American citizen and unfortunately, due to a mix up with her documents, she is now living here as an illegal alien."

Fraser took this information in. "So you are concerned that seeking medical attention in this country would alert the authorities to her presence," he concluded.

"Exactly," confirmed Stella. "And Silvina believes if she returns to her own country, the family of the man we sent to jail will kill her. I promised I'd protect her, but she's scared, Fraser and I'm worried about her. She has a new baby and she's too weak to look after her. I don't think she's seriously ill, but I really don't know what to do. I thought maybe you could help her with natural remedies, I know you have some knowledge in that area."

Fraser realised there was far more to this story, but for now his primary concern was for Stella's friend and her baby. He thought for a moment. Inspector Thatcher had given him express instructions to stay at the Consulate and wait for the call from Ambassador Hoefler. He glanced at his watch. Constable Turnbull should be back soon. Until then, he would have to rely on the answerphone to take a message. This was more important, Fraser realised. He would have to deal with the wrath of his superior officer somehow.

"I'll be with you in ten minutes," he said. He put the phone down, scribbled a note for Turnbull and ran out of the building with Diefenbaker at his heels.

xXxXx

True to his word, ten minutes later Stella opened the door of her apartment to Fraser. "Thank you for coming," she said. "I guess you've got a lot of questions."

Fraser was slightly taken aback by Stella's appearance. She was dressed in grey sweat pants and a t-shirt and was wearing very little make up. The dark, grey circles around her eyes exposed her tiredness.

"We'll talk later," replied Fraser, placing his hat on a side table. "I'd like to meet your friend first."

Stella nodded and he followed her to the back bedroom. "Are you alright?" he asked just before they went in.

"Me?" queried Stella. "I'm fine. Just tired, that's all. The baby has been keeping me awake all night."

"I see," replied Fraser and they walked into the bedroom.

"Look at her now. You wouldn't think she screams all night long, would you," said Stella, rolling her eyes and pointing to the corner of the room where the baby lay sleeping in her crib.

"What's her name?" asked Fraser as Dief walked over to the baby and sat beside the crib.

"Carmen," replied Stella. She crossed to the bed and gently nudged her friend's shoulder. "Silvina, this is Fraser. He's the one I was telling you about," she said.

Silvina was lying in the bed propped up on pillows. She had her eyes closed, but Fraser could tell she wasn't sleeping. Her eyes flickered open at the sound of Stella's voice and she managed half a smile. "Hi," she said in a weak voice.

"Hello," replied Fraser and he returned the smile.

"I'm sorry to be so much trouble," said Silvina. "I thought I'd be over this flu by now, but I can't seem to shake it."

Fraser leaned over and placed his hand on her forehead. "How long have you been running a fever?" he asked with concern.

Silvina looked to Stella for an answer.

"Um, four, maybe five days," Stella replied. "Or a week, I'm not sure. The days have all blurred into one."

Just at that moment, Carmen stirred and started to cry. Stella let out a growl of frustration and went to pick her up.

Fraser glanced over his shoulder. He was concerned at the way sleep deprivation was affecting Stella. Dief yapped quietly and Fraser nodded. Apparently the wolf had his concerns too; Dief could be very perceptive when he wanted to be.

"I'll try feeding her again," said Stella with a sigh. "Silvina, let Fraser help you. You can trust him."

Silvina watched with sad eyes as Stella took her baby out of the room with Dief following close behind. "I want to feed my own baby," she said. "She's only eight weeks old."

"I understand," replied Fraser, checking her pulse. "But you need to regain your strength first."

As Fraser continued to examine Silvina, Stella went to the kitchen. She struggled to mix up baby formula with one hand while holding Carmen, desperately trying to soothe the crying infant. She hissed out a curse as she splashed her own fingers with boiling water and nearly threw the measuring scoop across the room as she fumbled to get the correct amount of powder from the carton. "Please, stop crying!" she yelled at Carmen, but the baby took no notice, of course.

Fraser reappeared from the bedroom a short while later. He found Stella dozing on the couch with Carmen asleep in her arms. Fraser picked up the half full bottle of milk that had fallen onto the floor and looked at Stella and the baby with concern. Carmen began to squirm and make noises in her sleep and Fraser tried to take her from Stella's arms before she disturbed her, but the noise was too much and Stella's eyes opened.

"Oh," she exclaimed as she realised what had happened. "I'm sorry, I must have nodded off."

Fraser carefully lifted Carmen up and over his shoulder and began to gently rub her back. "It's quite alright," he said. "It looks like you need more sleep."

Stella nodded. "How's Silvina?" she asked. "Is there anything you can do for her?"

"Possibly," replied Fraser. "That is, I can help with some of her symptoms, but I'm not sure what's causing her illness. She really needs to have proper medical tests to determine the seriousness of her condition."

"I know," agreed Stella. "I've been trying to persuade her to see a doctor, but she is terrified that she'll be deported and then her ex-husband's family will find her and kill her."

"Her ex-husband?" queried Fraser walking slowly around the room with Carmen.

"Yes, didn't I mention that?" asked Stella. "The man she testified against was her ex-husband."

"I see," nodded Fraser as he began to get a clearer picture of the circumstances.

Carmen suddenly let out a loud burp and Fraser smiled. "Ah, now that must feel better," he said to the baby and he pulled the puffin face as Carmen stared at him.

"I can't get her to do that," admitted Stella. "I guess I don't have the technique."

"That might explain why she's so restless," suggested Fraser. "It's quite simple, I'll show you." He sat Carmen on Stella's lap. "This might be easier for you," he said. "Just support her chin," he prompted.

Stella hesitated and nervously followed Fraser's instructions. Fraser could see how tense she was. She was clearly very uncomfortable holding the baby.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to hurt her," shrugged Stella by way of explanation.

"Relax," urged Fraser. "She's tougher than she looks," he added with a smile as Stella started patting Carmen's back gently and it wasn't long before the baby produced another burp.

"Oh!" Stella was so surprised and her face lit up. "I did it! Thank you. I really don't have a clue when it comes to babies."

Fraser could see that. "Don't worry, you're doing fine," he said encouragingly.

Stella quickly handed Carmen back to Fraser. "I thought they'd only be here for a couple of days while I sorted out the paperwork for Silvina to remain in America," she explained. "Then she got sick and I haven't even been back to the office since; I've been using up my personal days. Would you like coffee?"

"No, thank you," replied Fraser as he rocked Carmen gently.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this," Stella continued. "I realise you may be uncomfortable with the situation. I'm harbouring an illegal alien in my spare room. If you want to report me then I'll understand."

"I don't think that will be necessary at this juncture," replied Fraser.

"I owe you an explanation, though," Stella continued. Fraser was about to protest, but Stella waved her hand in the air to stop him.

Stella was aware that she hadn't always treated Fraser fairly in the past, but he was Ray's best friend and that made things awkward. This was the first time she'd really been able to talk to him properly and she could see that everything she'd heard about him was true. Stella had only called Fraser out of desperation this morning. She hadn't been able to think of anyone else she could trust and then she'd remembered what people said about Fraser - that he helped people and that he always did the right thing – and so he'd been the only person she'd called.

"I first met Silvina in the run up to her ex-husband's trial for murder," Stella began to explain. "He's been running guns through Mexico and across the border with his brothers and uncles for years. Silvina had tried several times to escape their brutal marriage, but he'd stopped her every time. I'm not sure of the details; she finds it hard to talk about."

"Of course," nodded Fraser, sadly. He had noticed scars on Silvina's arms – cuts and burn marks. He had assumed those represented just the tip of the iceberg.

"Carmen isn't his child," Stella explained. "She met a man, an American, and they developed a relationship while her husband was out of the country. Unfortunately, the bastard had people watching her and he was fully aware of everything. When he returned to Chicago, he forced Silvina to watch as he murdered her lover. Silvina thought she would be killed too, but it seems he wanted to keep her alive so he could punish her some more. One night he got very drunk during a poker game and she was finally able to make her escape. She went straight to the police and they brought him in. She didn't even realise she was pregnant throughout the whole ordeal."

Fraser was stunned at the details of the story. Carmen had fallen asleep in his arms and he glanced down at her. "Your mother is a remarkably strong woman," he said to her.

Stella nodded. "She's an amazing person, I hate seeing her knocked down like this," she said. "You should have seen her on the witness stand, Fraser. She was nine months pregnant at the time of the trial, but she stood up to all the shit the defence team threw at her."

"Were you able to charge any of his family?" asked Fraser.

"No," replied Stella. "The murder charge was impossible to get out of with Silvina's testimony, but we couldn't pin any of the gun running charges on him, or his three brothers. As far as we know they've all left the country now, but they made threats to Silvina and the baby in the courthouse. She can't go back home, not now."

"Weren't you able to secure her protection after the trial?"

Stella sighed. "I asked one of my staff to file the paperwork," she explained. "I don't know what happened. It should have been straightforward, but he screwed up somehow and by the time we realised it was too late and a deportation order had been issued. Silvina called me one morning in a very distressed state and I said she could stay here while I fixed things for her. I just haven't had chance to deal with it." Stella stopped talking and dropped her head into her hands. "She got sick so quickly," she said quietly. "I've tried so hard to take care of her and the baby, but I'm so out of my depth here…" Her voice cracked and she had to stop talking.

Fraser gave her a moment to gather her thoughts. "Why don't I take Carmen out for a while?" he said eventually. "I need to buy ingredients to make Silvina something to eat. I know a few recipes that should help with her nausea. You need to sleep."

Stella nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Fraser," she said. "I'm so exhausted I can't think straight. I don't know why anyone would choose to have a baby; this has been the most horrendous week of my life. I don't know how much more I can take."

Fraser already knew that Stella had never wanted children of her own – it had been one of the catalysts for the end of her marriage to Ray – but to hear her describe her brief experience of parenting as 'horrendous' was still quite startling. He understood that she was tired, but if she really did feel that strongly against the idea of having children then it was no wonder it had caused so much tension between her and Ray.

"You don't have to do this alone anymore," replied Fraser with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2.**

That afternoon, just as Fraser had expected, Inspector Thatcher called him into her office and berated him for missing the call from the German Ambassador.

"Turnbull tried to cover for you!" exclaimed the Inspector. "You can imagine now successful that was. So do you want to tell me what was so important that you felt it was acceptable to disobey my orders?" She folded her arms across her chest and waited for an answer.

"Um, unfortunately I'm unable to do that at this juncture," replied Fraser.

Inspector Thatcher was taken aback by his refusal to answer her questions. Luckily for Fraser, though, she had had an exhausting day and was really not in the mood for an argument, so she simply shook her head and dismissed him from her office. The Inspector was slowly learning to trust his judgement and she really hoped that an explanation would be forthcoming eventually. _And it had better be a good one,_ she thought.

Fraser walked back to his own office, stunned that he'd got off so lightly. Throughout the duration of the lecture Fraser had been thinking about Silvina. He had managed to get her to eat a small amount of the soup he'd made her before he left Stella's apartment and she'd also sipped some water infused with a combination of dried roots and herbs that would hopefully work to bring down her fever.

That evening, Ray called. "Hey. Missed ya today," he said. "I wanted to run over the, er, the Molton case with you. His lawyer's an asshole."

"Ah. I'm sorry about that, Ray," replied Fraser.

"So…where we ya?" prompted Ray. "Turnbull didn't seem to know when I called the Consulate."

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to divulge that information," Fraser answered. He hated keeping things from his friend, but it was necessary on this occasion. Fraser was deliberately overlooking Silvina's legal status, but it would be unfair of him to ask Ray to do the same and besides, Ray was the last person that Stella wanted becoming involved.

"Oh," said Ray. He knew that sometimes his buddy worked on confidential RCMP business and he assumed this was one of those occasions. "Ice Queen got you on a top secret mission, huh?"

"Er, something like that."

"Are ya free this evening? Wanna get something to eat?" Ray asked.

"I'm sorry Ray, but I can't this evening," Fraser replied uncomfortably.

"OK," Ray shrugged. "See you tomorrow then."

"Er, possibly," mumbled Fraser. "Goodbye Ray."

Ray was slightly puzzled by Fraser's odd manner, but Fraser could be odd at the best of times so he wasn't that concerned. Ray figured he would tell him all about it when he could. "Just you and me for dinner again, then," he muttered to his pet turtle.

xXxXx

For the next four days, Fraser spent as much time at Stella's as he could. Stella was very grateful for his help with Carmen. Even when Carmen slept Stella couldn't seem to relax and Fraser was growing increasingly worried about her. The stress of taking care of the baby and her concern for Silvina - who, despite Fraser's best efforts, appeared to be growing weaker – was taking its toll. Fraser and Stella tried desperately to persuade Silvina to see a doctor, but she steadfastly refused and they had no choice but to respect her wishes.

Fraser was careful to avoid Inspector Thatcher at all costs. He didn't want to get saddled with any official duties that would take up his time. He ensured his daily reports were on her desk to keep her happy and made excuses for his absence.

The Inspector was used him being away from the Consulate liaising with the Chicago PD, but this time she had a niggling feeling that something was wrong. She couldn't put her finger on what it was though.

Ray grew increasingly suspicious. He quickly realised Fraser was avoiding him and, Canadian national security or not, he wanted to know exactly what it was his buddy had got himself involved in.

"Vecchio!" Lieutenant Welsh's voice broke into Ray's thoughts. It was early in the morning and Ray hadn't had enough caffeine to deal with what he knew was coming. Ray let his head drop onto his desk with a thud. Welsh had Molton's lawyer in his office. Conrad Bennett was trying to get his client released without charge, despite the fact that Ray had found him with his hands around the other guy's neck.

_Slimy bastard lawyers, thought Ray._

"Close the door, Detective," ordered Welsh as Ray shuffled into his office. "You remember Mr Bennett."

Ray flashed a smarmy grin at the lawyer, but said nothing.

"Mr Molton has expressed some concerns about his treatment by this department," continued Welsh, through gritted teeth.

"In particular, my client is very concerned about his treatment by you, Detective Vecchio," explained Bennett with a smug look on his face.

"Me?" Ray tried his best to sound surprised. Molton was a violent thug with a rap sheet as long as his arm and he'd thrown the first punch – and the second – as Ray had tried to arrest him. Ray may have kicked Molton in the head in return, but the guy had been resisting arrest and he deserved it. His victim survived the attempt on his life thanks to Ray's timely arrival on the scene and that was all that mattered to Ray.

"Yes, Detective," replied Bennett. "My client is talking about filing assault charges."

"What!" exclaimed Ray.

"I'm attempting to talk him out of taking such drastic action," smiled Bennett condescendingly.

"Oh sure you are," replied Ray sarcastically.

"Vecchio," warned Welsh. He didn't want to have to suspend Ray for punching a lawyer, even if the guy did deserve a black eye.

Ray sighed. "What do you want me to say?" he asked. "Come on, sir," he turned to Welsh and pleaded for some back up.

Welsh shook his head. As much as it pained him to do so, he had to remain neutral. He couldn't risk a major incident – Bennett had too much influence over certain people that Welsh wanted to avoid upsetting at all costs. He would, of course, support Ray in any way he could, but only through the proper channels. That way Bennett wouldn't have any advantage – not if he wanted to keep his license. Welsh had dealt with this man before and others like him and he knew the best way to deal with slimeball lawyers like him was to let him believe he had the upper hand for as long as possible. The Lieutenant did not want Ray to explode and jeopardise that now.

"Thank you for making us aware, Mr Bennett," said Welsh in the most polite voice he could muster. "We'll be in touch."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," replied Bennett and he slithered out of the office.

Ray opened his mouth to speak, but Welsh got in first. "Keep your mouth shut, your head down and your nose clean until this blows over, Vecchio," he said. "Let the legal team deal with him."

Ray hated doing all three of those things. "But…" he began, but Welsh didn't want to hear it.

"Don't worry, Molton is not going anywhere while I'm in charge of this department," said the Lieutenant, gruffly.

Ray nodded silently. He trusted Welsh, but he didn't trust the Chicago PD Legal Department. They'd screwed up in the past and they would most likely screw up again.

"Where's the Mountie?" asked Welsh. It was at times like these that Fraser was very useful for keeping Ray from doing something he might regret.

"Er, dunno, sir," replied Ray. "He's tied up with some secret Canadian stuff, or, er, something."

"Pity," said Welsh. "Go home, Detective," he ordered.

Ray sighed. He knew Welsh was trying to protect him, but it felt to Ray like he was being ordered to run away and hide. He would rather stay and fight his corner, but he knew the safest thing, if he wanted to keep his job, was to obey orders. "Yes, sir," he said reluctantly.

xXxXx

"Oh Fraser, thank god you're here. I think I need to call 911." The look on Stella's face exhibited her concern as she opened her door to the Mountie.

"What happened?" asked Fraser urgently as he entered her apartment.

"It's Silvina," explained Stella. "She's burning up and she's barely conscious. I don't know what happened? I thought she was starting to get better. She was talking and laughing with me yesterday."

Fraser ran through to the back bedroom with Stella close behind. They found Silvina slumped back on her pillows, breathing heavily. Fraser took one look at her and nodded to Stella. "She's hyperpyrexic, call an ambulance," he said, seriously. "Hurry."

Carmen had woken up by the time the ambulance arrived and she was screaming as the paramedics loaded her mother into the back of the vehicle. Fraser held her in his arms and tried to calm her. He caught the look Stella gave the crying infant; it was a confusing mix of anger and sympathy. Stella had found the last few days so difficult. Now she was desperately worried about her friend, but she also felt a huge responsibility to look after the baby.

"It's alright," Fraser said supportively. "Go with Silvina. I'll take care of Carmen; you don't have to worry about her."

Stella nodded and a wave of emotion almost overwhelmed her. She squeezed Fraser's forearm. "Thank you," she whispered and climbed into the ambulance.

Fraser had always been puzzled by Stella. Ray often talked about her, but he sometimes he found it difficult to express how he truly felt about her and he found it even harder to explain his actions when he was around her. Fraser had some difficulty imagining Ray and Stella being together for so many years, but he knew that many of those years had been happy so he could only assume that they had both changed a lot as they'd grown older and ultimately, grown apart.

Fraser had spent a lot of time with Stella over the past week, but he was only just beginning to understand a little more about her. One evening, they'd talked a briefly about her marriage to Ray, although Stella had been very guarded about what she'd said.

"Ray wanted kids, but I didn't," she'd explained with a shrug. "I thought he knew that, but I guess he thought he could change my mind, or something."

Fraser couldn't imagine anyone being able to change Stella's mind about something so fundamental to who she was.

"I imagine that must not have been easy for either of you," Fraser had noted.

"There was a lot of friction over it," Stella had admitted. "It wasn't the only reason our marriage ended, but it…well it's difficult to see a future for two people who have such opposing ideas."

Fraser busied himself in Stella's apartment feeding Carmen. He was very worried about Silvina and he couldn't help but feel that he should have insisted she seek proper medical attention sooner. He and Stella had talked about calling out a doctor, but Stella had been adamant that she did not want to go against Silvina's wishes and Fraser respected her decision. Stella still felt guilty about not having the legal paperwork in place to prevent Silvina being threatened with deportation and she was determined not to let her friend down again. Besides, Silvina hadn't been seriously ill up until this morning and she had even started to show some signs of improvement.

Fraser played with Carmen for a while - entertaining her with the puffin face and a polar bear toy he'd made out of string - before settling her back into her crib while he waited for news from the hospital.

xXxXx

Ray sat on the couch in his apartment for less than five minutes before he realised he couldn't spend the rest of the day like this, let alone however long it was going to take to deal with Molton. He leapt up and made himself a coffee, flicking on the radio as he waited for the coffee machine to do its work.

"Maybe I should go hang out at the Consulate?" he said to the turtle. "Even if Fraser's busy I could watch some curling with Turnbull…oh jeez, what am I saying?"

Ray downed his coffee at lighting speed, grabbed his jacket and went out for a walk. He rarely walked anywhere, but he had to get out of the apartment and he needed some fresh air. He figured the busy Chicago traffic wouldn't do him any good anyway; he was likely to punch someone if they dared to cut him off, or even look at him at the lights. As he had predicted, he ended up at the Consulate.

"Detective Vecchio," beamed Turnbull as he let him in. "It's good to see you."

"Where's Fraser," scowled Ray.

"I'm sorry, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information," smiled Turnbull.

_How is this guy so goddam cheerful all the time?_ Ray wondered.

"And…when will he be back?" asked Ray, determined not to lose his temper.

"I'm afraid I'm not…"

"OK, I get it. You can't tell me," Ray interrupted the young Mountie. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Turnbull. "You don't know where he is, do you," sighed Ray. It didn't take a great detective to be able to read Turnbull's expression.

"Um, er…" stammered Turnbull.

"Forget it," said Ray and turned to leave only to be met by Inspector Thatcher walking in the door.

"Ah, I'm glad you're here," she said to him sternly. "I really need to speak with Constable Fraser so when you see him could you please send him over here."

"I haven't seen him for days," admitted Ray. "I thought you knew where he was?"

"No I don't," replied Thatcher, frowning.

There was an awkward silence. Ray's mind started working overtime. _What the hell are you up to, Fraser?_

"Oh dear, I do hope he's alright," said Turnbull with a worried expression.

"When did ya see him last?" asked Ray, urgently.

"This morning," replied Turnbull. "He left very early, just as I arrived."

Ray allowed himself a small sigh of relief.

_So he's not missing, that's good…but he is deliberately avoiding everyone. Oh Fraser, what are you doing, buddy?_

He didn't want to get Fraser into any more trouble with Inspector Thatcher than he was already in. "Oh, right, I just remembered," he said, slapping his forehead theatrically, "er, he's workin' on this, er, thing with me, but he wanted to, er, go check out some…by himself, y'know. I, um, forgot all about it. I'll see you Canadians later."

And with that, Ray ran out of the Consulate, leaving a confused Turnbull and an even more suspicious Thatcher in his wake.

xXxXx

It was late afternoon before an exhausted Stella arrived back at her apartment. She'd already phoned Fraser to let him know that Silvina was stable, but still in a serious condition. She walked in the door and almost collapsed on the couch.

"How is she?" asked Fraser, handing her a cup of bark tea.

Stella hated bark tea, but she was so thirsty that she drank it anyway. The vending machine coffee at the hospital was worse than the bitter stuff you got in court, she decided and she hadn't been able to stomach it. "She looks terrible," replied Stella. "But the doctors assure me they're doing everything they can. They said this type of infection can cause sudden deteriorations."

"As we witnessed," agreed Fraser.

"I stopped by the office on my way home to pick up the rest of the forms I need to file for her visa," Stella explained, pulling a brown envelope from her bag.

"Let me help you with those," offered Fraser. "I do have some experience in the field."

Stella smiled, but shook her head. "Thanks," she said, "but it's the least I can do for Silvina; I owe her this much. I kept meaning to do it – I was going to ask someone to mail them to me – but every time I sit down I either fall asleep, or Carmen starts yelling. Where is Carmen, by the way?"

"She's asleep," replied Fraser. "I took her for a walk. I think the fresh air tired her out. Oh…" he reached down and picked up two large carrier bags. "I took the liberty of visiting the baby store. I spoke to a very helpful assistant who advised me about the various products available." He started to unpack the bags. "These bottles are specifically designed to prevent colic and you might find this particularly useful at night – it's a bottle warmer." Fraser explained to Stella how she could make up the feeds in advance and store them in the refrigerator, then just quickly reheat them in the middle of the night.

"That could be really useful, thank you Fraser," smiled Stella. Night feeds were the worst. Stella never realised how much she needed a good night's sleep until she had a baby to look after. She picked up the box and read the instructions on the back.

Fraser surveyed his haul. He started to wonder if the store assistant hadn't taken advantage of his ignorance on such matters to sell him products he didn't really need. "You know, the Inuit don't use any of this equipment," he pondered.

Stella laughed. "I don't suppose they do," she said. She really was grateful to Fraser for being so thoughtful and the bottle warmer would definitely be put to good use.

Just then there was a knock at the door. Stella got up to answer it. Fraser could see how exhausted she was as she walked across her apartment with her shoulders slumped.

"Ray!" Stella was surprised to see her ex-husband on her doorstep.

Ray was just as surprised. He hadn't planned to come here, but he'd been walking around the city asking if anyone had seen Fraser and, at the same time, worrying about what Molton was cooking up with his lawyer and somehow he'd ended up here.

_Why do I always go back to Stella when I can't get my head around the crap going on in my life?_

Ray hadn't got any leads on Fraser - which was disconcerting because there was always someone who knew where 'The Mountie' was - and the thing with Molton was starting to take over his head. That Bennett creep could do something and Ray would lose his badge, or worse. Ray couldn't just sit around at home and rely on the Legal Department to fix things. They'd be more likely to make it worse, if his previous experience with them was anything to go by. So here he was – again – at Stella's apartment. Perhaps in the back of his mind he thought she'd be able to help? He wasn't sure why he was here. Perhaps he just needed to see her face.

"Hey, Stell," he said and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Can I come in? I've got this problem…it's a kinda legal problem and I figured who's the best person to talk legal stuff with than, er, than you?"

Stella stood in stunned silence; she didn't know what to say to him. The last person she wanted to talk to now was Ray. She didn't want him to know about Silvina - not yet - and anyway, talking to Ray wasn't simple anymore; Ray always came with baggage. It always hurt just seeing him, seeing how different he looked now – like the Ray she'd fallen in love with, but with something missing – and that was why she usually put up barriers whenever he was around. Usually she was able to shut down her emotions and cope by giving him a good lashing with her acerbic tongue, but not today. Today she was too vulnerable, too emotionally weak and she couldn't muster the strength to protect herself.

"I can't, not today," she said, her voice barely audible.

Ray looked at Stella with a puzzled frown. It wasn't like her to be so quiet…then he saw Fraser.

"Fraser!" he exclaimed. "Where the hell have you been? I've been looking all over for ya! The Ice Queen's been goin' nuts and, er…what are you doin' here? Have you been here the whole time?" Ray was trying to figure out why on earth his buddy had been hiding out with The Stella.

"I'm so sorry, Ray," began Fraser with an awkward glance at Stella.

Then Ray noticed the huge pile of baby paraphernalia spread out across Stella's couch. "What's all this?" he asked quietly. A sense of dread had overwhelmed him. It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and he could feel the colour drain from his face.

Fraser was instantly concerned about his friend's change of demeanour. "Ray, we just couldn't tell you," he began. He narrowed his eyes as Ray's nostrils started to flare. "Are you…are you alright?" he asked.

Ray's breathing had become shallow. He looked at Stella with a look of pain that Stella hadn't seen for a long time. "Oh my god," he half whispered as he put two and two together and made five. "I don't…I don't believe it…"

Stella was too tired for this. "What are you talking about?" she snapped.

"You…you're having a baby," said Ray. Then he looked at Fraser. "With him!"

"What? No!" exclaimed Stella. "Jesus, Ray!"

Fraser was stunned into silence.

"C'mon, don't treat me like a fool," hissed Ray.

"You're making a good enough job of that all by yourself," retorted Stella.

"This is what all the sneakin' around has been about," continued Ray as the pieces of the puzzle fell into place – at least he thought they did. Tears started to well in his eyes. "You didn't want my kids, but you'll have his!"

"Ray, please, just take a moment…" began Fraser, but Ray interrupted him.

"Everyone wants to have your babies!" he yelled. "But no one wants mine. Well, you know something, you're welcome to her."

"Ray, you've got it all wrong," Fraser insisted.

Ray wasn't listening. He'd already made up his mind that his ex-wife and his best friend – the two people he loved more than anyone else in the world – had hurt him in the worst possible way. "You just wait, buddy," Ray continued. "Just you wait. She'll get under your skin and inside your head and just when you think you couldn't be happier she'll put a knife in your guts and twist it so hard you won't know what's hit you."

"Perhaps if we could all sit down…" Fraser was desperate to explain things to Ray, but Stella was not interested.

"Get out!" she yelled. He'd hurt her too much. How dare he say those things about her?

"Don't worry, I'm goin'," retorted Ray. "You and the Mountie can stay here and build your little love nest. Just don't say I didn't warn ya, buddy." Ray turned and stormed out of the apartment.

Fraser moved to go after him, but Stella grabbed his arm and held him back. "Leave him," she spat. "Let him stew for a while. When he figures out what an idiot he's just made of himself he'll come crawling back."

Fraser was stunned by the venom in her voice. He, too, was stunned that Ray could think those things of him, but he quickly realised that something had upset Ray - something else – and he and Stella had simply borne the brunt of how that had affected him. He turned to stare at the door, hoping Ray would come running back through it so they could sort out the whole misunderstanding, but the door stayed firmly shut.

"Stella," he began, turning back to face her. He was going to go after Ray; he couldn't leave it like this, but before he could say anything else, an exhausted Stella fell into his arms and broke down in tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3.**

Ray couldn't remember exactly how he'd got here after leaving Stella's apartment, but it seemed like an appropriate place; this was where he had punched Fraser after an argument and then, later, where he'd insisted Fraser hit him in return. It had almost caused the end of their friendship and if it hadn't been for the incident with the Robert MacKenzie, well… How long ago did that happen? Ray couldn't remember. It seemed like forever ago, but at the same time it felt so fresh in his mind it might have been last week for all he knew.

Stella had quickly regained control of her emotions – she hated crying in front of anyone – and decided to go to bed. "I just can't begin to…" she had started to try to put her anger into words, but she was too exhausted and she just couldn't do it.

"If it means anything, I imagine Ray has already realised his mistake," Fraser had offered

"And that makes it OK?" Stella had replied, incredulously.

"Well, er…" Fraser hadn't been sure how to respond. He didn't feel anger towards Ray, he was more worried about what had driven his friend to jump to such a conclusion in the first place. "You know, Ray can be very insecure at times and…"

"You don't need to explain Ray to me!" Stella had exclaimed, interrupting Fraser. "I get Ray, OK? And that is exactly the reason why we're divorced."

Fraser had nodded understandingly and glanced towards the door.

Stella had sighed. "Go," she'd said, her voice much calmer now. "Go after him, I know you want to and he probably needs you more than I do right now. I'm going to bed."

And so Fraser had bundled Carmen into the brand new baby sling he'd bought earlier that day, strapped her to his chest and walked out into the cool Chicago evening.

Ray heard his buddy approaching. Even when he wasn't wearing his boots, Fraser's footsteps were unmistakable. "Hey," he said, gazing out across the lake. The lights from distant container ships were twinkling in the dusk.

"Hello Ray," Fraser replied.

"How did ya find me?" asked Ray without looking up.

"Well, you were quite easy to track," Fraser began. "Your left boot is…actually that's not important right now. Is it alright if I join you?"

"Sure," replied Ray. "I mean, I'm not gonna jump, if that's what y'mean. There's no point, I can do that bloom, close, kick 'em in the head thing now, right?"

Fraser crossed to sit down next to Ray. Carmen had been looking at the bright lights as they'd walked through the streets and Fraser had told her stories and sung softly to her. He was concerned about the effect all the tension and stress of the last few days may be having on her, knowing that babies were sensitive to the emotions of the adults around them. It wasn't long before the tiny baby had fallen asleep against his chest. Fraser was careful not to wake her as he sat down on the side of the dock.

Ray still didn't look at his buddy. "Look, er, Fraser, I…er, I…" he didn't know where to begin with his apology.

"It's alright," Fraser reassured him. "You don't have to…"

"Jesus Christ, Fraser! Yes I do!" Ray exclaimed, finally turning to look at him. He was momentarily taken aback by the sight of the sleeping infant in her sling.

"This is Carmen," said Fraser, gently pulling back the corner of the sling so that Ray could see her face.

"Oh," replied Ray, quietly. "She, er, she's not yours, is she." He added; it was a statement, not a question.

Fraser shook his head.

"And she's not Stella's, that's for sure," he added with a rueful smile.

Again, Fraser shook his head. "Carmen's mother is a friend of Stella's," he explained. "Unfortunately, Stella's friend has been unwell and was today admitted to the ICU."

"Jeez," mumbled Ray under his breath. "So The Stella's been taking care of the baby," he said as it finally all made sense. "And, er, she asked you to help 'coz she's not a 'baby person'," he added, miming quotation marks around the last two words with his fingers.

It had been one of Stella's often used phrases when the subject of having children had come up – _I'm sorry Ray, I'm just not a baby person. I thought you knew that._

_No, I did not know that…_

"Yes, Ray," nodded Fraser. "Stella has many skills, but unfortunately, nurturing is not high on the list."

The corners of Ray's mouth twitched into a smile at Fraser's condemnation. He couldn't picture Stella trying to deal with diapers and baby puke. Of course she'd been right all those years ago – she really wasn't a baby person at all.

Ray had a hundred questions to ask Fraser – why all the secrecy? But he couldn't process any of that now. He had to apologise first before it ate him up inside.

"I am so sorry; I honestly don't know why I said all that shit," he began. "I dunno, Fraser, you've been off the radar for days and…and…then there you were…in Stella's apartment, with Stella and, er, and all the baby stuff and…. it was like, er, like someone lit a fire in my head and my brain exploded, or something. I couldn't…I didn't…does any of this make any sense?"

"I think so," replied Fraser. Ray's words weren't making a lot of sense, but Fraser could read his face like a book. There was new pain today. _No,_ he corrected his thoughts, _old pain, but it's resurfaced._

"I know how much you wanted to have children with Stella," Fraser began, but Ray interrupted him.

"Yeah, well, it didn't happen," he shrugged, dismissively.

_He doesn't want to talk about it. I understand…_

"Ray, I'm sorry I haven't been around too much lately, but I promised Stella…" Fraser wanted to steer the conversation in a different direction. He knew he owed Ray a full explanation, but it would have to wait.

First, Fraser needed to know what terrible experience Ray had been through while he'd been busy helping Stella. He already felt guilty enough that he hadn't been around for his friend when Ray had obviously needed him. Part of him didn't want to know the answer.

_It must have been something truly awful. Perhaps he's witnessed a particularly tragic death?_ Fraser pondered. _Oh no, not another cop…or a child…_

"What happened?" He asked gently.

"The dumb thing is it was nothing, really." Ray's answer surprised his buddy. "Just Molton's asshole lawyer causing trouble. Welsh told me to lay low for a while."

Fraser frowned at his friend. That couldn't be it, surely?

"Thing is, buddy, when I spend time…er, y'know, on my own, I start thinking. About Stella, mostly," Ray tried to explain. "I don't even know I'm doing it. I can't, er, I can't help it." Ray's voice cracked as he spoke. "I guess she really hates me now," he added quietly.

"No, she doesn't hate you," replied Fraser. He was fairly certain he was correct in that assertion.

Ray let out a long, slow sigh. If he could go back in time and change what he'd said then he would, but that was never going to happen so he had to live with it. "I, er, I should go see her and apologise," he mumbled, dread filling his mind at the prospect. "And, um, then I guess I'll butt out of her life for good."

"I doubt very much that Stella wants you out of her life," replied Fraser.

Ray shook his head. "No, you're wrong this time, buddy," he said. "You don't know her like I do. I've blown it. There's no going back now." He paused to collect his thoughts. "When we were, y'know, breaking up – getting divorced – we both said some dumb things to each other. D-u-m dumb, but I never accused her of… I mean, I always trusted her."

"I'm sure she'll accept your apology and this will all be water under the bridge," replied Fraser reassuringly.

"I don't know nothin' about a bridge, Fraser, but I can't just go to her and explain it all, can I?" Ray suddenly leapt up and started walking along the edge of the harbour. "Sorry, Stell, but I still think about you all the time in a weird, obsessed, creepy kinda way and it screws with my head. She is not gonna be cool with that, buddy."

Fraser was quickly at his friend's side. "I suggest you don't put it in those words, exactly," he said, "however I do believe that Stella will accept your apology. She knows you too well, Ray. I don't think you have to explain yourself in any great detail to her."

Ray stopped walking and turned to face Fraser. "I have to get over her. I have to. Look at me!" He threw his hands in the air. "I thought I was OK after the whole thing with Orsini last year. I know she's, er, dated other guys since then – even some who didn't turn out to be corrupt politicians – and I thought it was no big deal. I was happy for her. But…just for a second I thought she might be…y'know, dating you…of all people…and…"

"If it's any consolation, Ray," began Fraser, tugging at his earlobe as he spoke, "there is more chance of Andrew Taffy repeating his infamous performance of Fogarty's Cove from the fifteenth annual Yellow Knife Cultural Festival and Blanket Toss, than there is of Stella and myself embarking on a romantic liaison."

Ray stared blankly at Fraser.

"I'm sorry, that analogy perhaps has more meaning if you are aware of the unfortunate incident just prior to the performance," Fraser replied. "What I mean, Ray, is that Stella is not my type."

Ray nodded grinned. She sure as hell wasn't…_but she's exactly my type._ His smile faded.

"I have to talk to her," Ray stated, bluntly and began striding away from the lake.

"Not tonight, Ray," urged Fraser. "I suggest you leave it until the morning. She is suffering the effects of sleep deprivation and she really needs to rest. Perhaps tomorrow she might be more…um…receptive to you."

"Less likely to tear my head from my shoulders with her bare hands, y'mean?" suggested Ray.

"Something like that," agreed Fraser. "I'll walk home with you; I owe you an explanation for why I've been avoiding you."

"OK," smiled Ray. He felt better than he had earlier.

_At least Fraser doesn't want to kill me. _

Ray had upset and angered Stella before, he knew what to expect from her – even if he didn't know how to cope with it – but hurting Fraser was the last thing he wanted to do. He would never forget the look on the Mountie's face after he'd punched him and he couldn't risk being the cause of that again. He'd already lost the only woman who'd ever understood him; he couldn't afford to lose the only true friend he'd ever had too.

"You don't owe me anything, buddy," added Ray. He figured Fraser must have had a good reason to have kept his whereabouts a secret. "Although I'm kinda curious, I guess. You should be more worried about what you're gonna say to the Ice Queen. I tried to cover for you, but I don't think she bought it."

"Oh dear."

xXxXx

"Good morning, Ray."

Ray was surprised to see Fraser open Stella's front door.

_He must have stayed the night. _

Ray tried his best not to be envious. Fraser had only stayed to look after Carmen, Ray realised immediately, but it was still odd to find his buddy at his ex-wife's apartment so early in the morning.

"Hey, Fraser."

"I didn't want to disturb Stella upon my return so I thought it best I bivouac here for the night," Fraser explained.

"Sure. Good call." Ray hadn't slept at all. After Fraser had left his apartment Ray had spent all night laying in bed staring at the ceiling and trying to work out what to say to Stella to make up for the things he'd said to her.

"Although as I slept indoors," Fraser continued, scratching his left eyebrow with his thumb as Ray entered the apartment, "I suppose, technically, I wasn't…that's not important right now. I guess you want to talk to Stella."

Ray nodded. "How, um, how is she?"

"Stella said she slept well," replied Fraser, deliberately avoiding answering his friend's question direcly.

"Did, er, did she say anything about, er…"

"No, not specifically," said Fraser.

Just then, Stella appeared. "Fraser, do you have the number of the hospital?" she asked, rummaging in her bag. "I thought I'd…" but she stopped talking when she saw Ray.

"Hi, Stell," Ray said, quietly.

"Ray," she acknowledged, glancing at Fraser. _I hope you talked to him yesterday…_

"Er, um…" Everything Ray had rehearsed had gone out of his head. "I'm sorry," was all he could manage.

"Look, Ray," began Stella. "I really don't want to argue with you. Apology accepted. You made a mistake. Just think before opening your mouth next time."

"I just…" it was no use, he couldn't form a sentence. "I love ya, Stell." _Oh why did I say that?_

To Ray's surprise Stella's face softened into a smile. "I will always love you, Ray," she replied. "But we are divorced. You have to accept that. I have my own life now and you need to start living yours again."

Fraser cleared his throat and ran a finger around the collar of his blue denim shirt. He was feeling very uncomfortable; this was a conversation that should be continued in private. "Oh dear, I think Carmen is awake," he said suddenly.

Ray and Stella looked at each other; they hadn't heard the baby cry?

"I'll, um, I'll just be, er…" mumbled Fraser and ran out of the room, only stopping momentarily to glare at Dief, who was apparently too comfortable on Stella's expensive rug to want to move.

Stella laughed. "I'm glad you and Fraser haven't fallen out over this," she said to Ray.

"Nah," shrugged Ray. "Fraser knows me too well, he's used to the dumb things I say."

Stella nodded. Ray had said some dumb things in his time, but he'd never once accused her of cheating on him when they were married. So it seemed that things had got worse in Ray's mind since the divorce. _That can't be good…_

"Would you like a coffee?" asked Stella. "I think we should talk."

Her first thought when she'd seen Ray a few minutes ago was that she wanted him out of her apartment. She thought she was still angry with him for the hurtful accusation he'd made last night, but then she realised she wasn't angry at all. Ray's insecurities were endearing – it was one of the things about him she loved the most. He had always reminded Stella of herself in that way – tough on the outside, but with a sensitive side few people got to see. Stella had never suffered the crippling low self-esteem that her ex-husband did, but Ray was one of the few people in the world who really knew what she was like underneath her hard lawyer exterior.

Fraser found Carmen was, indeed, stirring. He gave her a few minutes to see if she'd settle again, but it wasn't long before she was wide awake. He set a bottle in the bottle warmer and lifted her out of her crib. "Good morning," he smiled. He couldn't help but be a little envious of her. She had no idea of all the things going on around her that were causing everyone so much upset. All she needed to make her happy was to feel safe and comfortable. Fraser thought about that for a moment… _Isn't that what we all want?_ "Let's get you a nice clean diaper," he said and set about getting her washed, changed and fed.

Just as Carmen finished the last drop of milk Stella poked her head around the door. "You can come out now," she grinned.

"Right you are," replied Fraser and lifted Carmen up onto his shoulder.

"Thank you," added Stella.

"For what?" asked Fraser as Carmen let out a huge burp.

"For giving us some privacy," explained Stella. "And for whatever it was you said to him last night. I'm glad he has you as a friend."

Fraser was embarrassed by the praise. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd said to Ray that had made a difference, but he was glad he'd helped.

They found Ray finishing the last of his coffee. "I'm going to call the hospital," said Stella. "I was hoping they might have called me. I just hope no news is good news." Stella went to use the phone in her bedroom.

"I should check in with Welsh," said Ray, pulling his own phone from his pocket, but before he could dial the number, it rang. "Vecchio," he said, bluntly. "Oh, er, hi there Inspector…" he trailed off and looked at Fraser with raised eyebrows.

Fraser shook his head immediately, but then had second thoughts. "It's fine, Ray. I'll talk to her," he whispered, steeling himself for whatever punishment his superior officer had in mind for him.

Ray passed his phone to Fraser and took Carmen from his arms in return.

"Inspector…" began Fraser, but that one word was all he had chance to get out before the Inspector started yelling. Fraser held the phone a few inches from his ear to prevent damaging his eardrums.

Ray had taken Carmen over to the couch and he watched Fraser with mild amusement. "He's gonna be on sentry duty for a year," he said to Carmen with a grin. "There's a good lesson for ya," he added. "Don't piss off your boss!" He immediately covered his mouth with his hand when he realised what he'd said. "Er, annoy…" he corrected himself. "If your Auntie Stella asks, I said annoy, OK?"

Carmen just stared at him blankly.

Ray nodded and smiled at her. "You have no idea what I'm saying do ya," he acknowledged.

Then Carmen went very red in the face and clenched her tiny fingers into fists. Ray frowned at her and then started to panic. _There's something wrong… _"Fraser!"

Fraser was grateful for the excuse to end his phone call, although he was suddenly very concerned about the agitation in Ray's voice. "I have to go, Sir," he said. "I will be at the Consulate as soon as I can." Then he ran over to the couch. "What is it?" he asked.

"Look at her," said Ray. "Is she having, like a, er, a seizure or something?"

Fraser's concern immediately changed to amusement. "No, she's perfectly alright," he replied with a smile. "She's defecating, Ray."

Ray looked puzzled.

"Perhaps you'd like to confirm my suspicions with olfactory analysis?" Fraser suggested, trying to keep a straight face.

"Er…" Ray thought for a moment; he'd heard Fraser use that expression before. _It means, er…_ "Oh, I get it," Ray's face brightened as he figured out what his buddy was getting at. "Hardy har har. No I am not gonna sniff her stinky diaper!"

Fraser stifled a giggle.

"This is one of those Canadian humour things, right?" added Ray.

"Not at all," replied Fraser. "I assume from your reaction that you're not going to offer to change the diaper?" he added.

Ray sneered at his buddy.

Then Stella walked back into the room with a smile on her face. "Silvina had a good night," she announced. "They're going to move her out of the ICU this morning," she added.

"Oh that is good news," acknowledged Fraser.

"I'd like to go and see her," Stella continued. "And I'm going to swing by the office and get all the visa and residency paperwork countersigned so I can get that filed today. Can you keep Carmen for a few hours?" she asked, looking hopefully at Fraser.

"Ah," Fraser looked uncomfortably at Ray. "I, er, I'm afraid I really have to go to work today," he said. "Although I could take Carmen with me," he added, hesitantly. "I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"No way, ya can't do that!" exclaimed Ray. "The Ice Queen is gonna have you doing god knows what today. I'll take care of Carmen today, I've got nothing else to do, Welsh doesn't want me anywhere near the Two Seven until this whole thing with Molton blows over."

Stella looked nervously at Fraser. Could she trust Ray with the baby - not that he wasn't trustworthy, of course, but would he know what to do with her? "It's not easy, believe me," she said. "She's very demanding."

"She's a baby!" exclaimed Ray. "How hard can it be?"

Stella tucked her hair behind her ears and sighed. She really wanted to go out and she couldn't get Fraser into any more trouble with Inspector Thatcher. _I'm sure Ray's perfectly capable…maybe…_

"If you're sure you'll be alright…" Fraser said, hesitantly.

"I'll only be a couple hours," added Stella.

"I'll be fine," insisted Ray.

"Alright," agreed Stella. "Thank you, Ray," she added and Ray smiled an acknowledgement.

"You may as well start with this diaper," said Fraser.

Ray started to protest, but Fraser had already put the baby his arms.

"All of the things you'll need are in a pink bag by the crib," Fraser explained, picking up his hat. "I'll telephone you as soon as I get an opportunity."

Within minutes, Stella, Fraser and Dief had left and Ray was left holding Carmen. The noxious smell was becoming overpowering. "Ok, kid," he said, taking a deep breath. "It's just you and me now. I'm gonna prove to The Stella just how easy this parenting thing can be so don't give me a hard time."


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4.**

Ray hadn't intended to give Carmen a bath, but changing her hadn't quite gone to plan – babies wriggled much more than he'd anticipated - and Ray had quickly realised that even a whole packet of baby wipes wasn't going to be as effective as a bath.

Carmen splashed him again.

"Enough already!" Ray didn't really mind getting splashed and he flashed her a grin as she continued to flail her arms about. He'd already suspected he might get wet anyway and removed his t-shirt before he'd started.

Then Ray started to have doubts about the whole idea. He was supporting the baby's head and she seemed to be enjoying kicking her legs in the water, but what if he'd screwed up somehow…

_Maybe I put too much water in? What if it's too hot…or too cold? Maybe I shouldn't have put her in the bathtub at all…_

"OK I think you're clean enough now," he said. Then he realised he hadn't thought to find a clean towel for her. "Er, er…OK, I guess I'll just…" he sighed. He had no choice but to lift Carmen out of the water still dripping wet. He held her close to his bare chest and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't want ya getting' cold," he said. "Now where the hell does The Stella keep towels…" he pondered, looking around the unfamiliar bathroom.

Then he spotted a small framed picture hanging on the wall. It was a watercolour of a lighthouse standing tall on an outcrop of rock as waves splashed and foamed around it.

"She kept that…" Ray half whispered. He carried Carmen over to show her the picture. "Stella loves lighthouses," he explained. "Well, she did…I guess she still does. Er, I bought that for her when we were in, er…jeez I can't remember where we were."

Ray sighed. He was starting to forget the details. He wanted to remember everything about his life with Stella, he didn't want to forget anything. Was this how it was going to be now? Would the memories he treasured be lost forever in the fog of his aging, damaged head as the years passed?

_Greatness…_

Suddenly Ray was aware of a warm sensation; a wet, warm sensation spreading from his abdomen down to his legs. He quickly pulled Carmen away from his body and held her at arms length. "You peed on me!" he exclaimed.

Carmen appeared unpeturbed.

"Er, er…" Ray held her in the air for a moment while he panicked. Then he broke into a smile and he shrugged. "At least it wasn't more poop," he noted, wryly.

Ray found Stella's linen cupboard just outside the bathroom. He wrapped Carmen in a large, soft, fluffy towel and carried her into Stella's bedroom.

"I guess I should change these pants," he noted, looking down at the wet patch on the right leg of his jeans. He carefully laid Carmen in the middle of the bed and walked over to Stella's chest of drawers to starting rummaging. "Y'know, one good thing about having a skinny ass is I can wear women's clothing," he said. Then he sniggered. "Er, OK that sounded weird. I mean, it's not like a, er, a kinky thing with me…I just mean in an emergency…" he trailed off. "You don't care, do ya," he grinned. "Now turn around while I change into these sweat pants," he winked.

Ray dressed himself and then turned his attentions back to Carmen. "OK, now let's see if I can, er, get this diaper on…er, um…" He adjusted the fastenings a few times before he was happy with it. "Hey, that looks good," he was quite pleased with himself. He pulled out a pink vest and yellow Babygro from her bag and proceeded to dress her. Carmen steadfastly refused to cooperate, instead wriggling and kicking her legs about as much as she could. It took Ray several minutes to get her arms and legs into the outfit; he was afraid he might hurt her if he was too rough. She was so tiny and helpless and it dawned on Ray just how dependent she was on him, even if it was only for a few hours. It was quite daunting if he thought about it too much.

"You wanna know something? You're hard work," he said quietly as he fastened the last of the press studs on the Babygro. Then he laughed. "Fraser has one just like this in red," he sniggered. "It looks better on you," he added.

Then a thought struck him. "D'ya think the Ice Queen has one too?" he pondered. "I mean, do all Mounties wear those things in bed?" He closed his eyes as he tried to imagine Inspector Thatcher dressed in red longjohns. Denny Scarpa had looked kinda hot in Fraser's, but Inspector Thatcher… Ray shook his head. "Nah," he said. "I know Fraser has a thing for her, but, er, I just don't get it. She's, like…like a dog chasing a cat, or somethin'. She treats him like dirt, but I guess Fraser gets a kick outta that." He stopped talking and frowned at Carmen. "You're not very good at conversation are ya," he smiled. "Sorry, I'll quit rambling."

Then Ray let out a huge sigh and lay back on the bed next to Carmen. "I bathed a baby," he said, not quite able to believe it himself. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and was surprised to see that less than an hour had passed since Fraser and Stella had left. "So now what're we gonna do?" he asked Carmen. Things hadn't gone too badly so far, but it would still be another couple of hours at least before Stella would be home.

_Still plenty of time for me to screw up…_

Ray started to doubt his abilities again. He knew nothing about babies at all. All he'd done was wash her and he wouldn't have even had to do that if he hadn't been so bad at dealing with her poop. Then he'd tried to have a conversation with her.

_That's not what you're meant to do with babies. _

He sat up and looked down at her.

_You must think I'm D-U-M dumb…_

Carmen reached out towards his face and Ray couldn't help but smile. She had no concept of, well of anything much at all so how could she think he was dumb?

_Well, everyone else does…right? _

"Life sucks, kid," he said with a sigh, gently enveloping her tiny hand in his. "This is the easy part." He playfully tickled her tummy. "I guess I should be happy Stella actually trusted me to take care of you," he said. "I know she was desperate, but still, here we are."

Carmen kicked her legs in the air and Ray captured her feet in his hands. "I could have been a good Dad," he continued wistfully as he made gentle circling movements with her legs. "Not a great one, but a good one. I figure if we'd had kids I probably would have been the one, y'know, doing most of the, er, parentin' stuff. Stella was always the one earning the big bucks so it would've made sense. I wouldn't have cared; she has a great career, I'm just a cop. Maybe she thought playin' the mom would freak me out?"

Ray's mind wondered…maybe Stella was right? Could he really have dealt with being the only father at the baby yoga group? The only guy in the sandpit? The only man dragging a screaming toddler round the grocery store? _I don't know…maybe not…but I didn't even get chance to try…_

Carmen started to get upset. She pushed her fist into her mouth and began to cry.

"Oh, hey, er…you hungry?" asked Ray, lifting her into his arms. "C'mon, let's go find you some milk. Now…do ya remember which button Fraser said to press on that bottle warmer? Coz I don't have a clue."

xXxXx

"Are those my sweat pants?" Stella stopped and stared at her ex-husband for a moment.

"Oh, hi Stell," said Ray, looking up as she walked back into her apartment. He was sitting on the floor with Carmen. He'd unpacked some of the toys Fraser had bought the day before and Carmen seemed content to watch him push plastic animals on wheels around the floor. Occasionally she tried to pick one up, but her coordination wasn't good enough yet and she got frustrated and started to cry. Ray quickly realised that he could calm her with a funny face, or by tickling her under her chin and they'd been having fun. "Yeah, I, er…it's a long story," he added. "How's Silvina?"

"She's OK," Stella explained. "She still looks dreadful, but her doctors are pleased with her progress so it's all good. She's going to be there a few more days though."

Ray nodded. "Sit down," he said. "I'll make coffee."

Stella smiled gratefully. She kicked off her shoes and placed the large file she'd been carrying under her arm down onto the sofa. "This is all the paperwork I need to sort out for Silvina," she explained as Ray headed for the kitchen. "That moron Sandy really screwed things up," she added with an exhausted sigh. "I made a few phone calls so the heat's off for now, but I've got twenty four hours to file the correct documents or the deportation order is going to be enforced. Jesus Christ, Ray, it was three documents. That's all he had to do. The guy's an experienced legal secretary for god's sake, I don't know what he was thinking? He's really going to get it in the neck when I get back to work."

Ray grinned. The poor guy was probably just having a bad day, that's all. He didn't envy Sandy now though; being on the end of one of The Stella's dressing downs was not a pleasant experience. "Drink this," he said, dropping a sweetener into a cup and walking back towards the couch where Stella had slumped, "and relax, OK. You're gonna fix it, it'll be fine. I'll take Carmen out in her stroller so you can do, er, whatever you've gotta do."

"Really? Thank you, Ray," smiled Stella. What she really wanted to do was go to bed. She still felt tired even though she'd slept reasonably well last night. She just couldn't seem to relax when Carmen was around.

xXxXx

"Sir, if I may take a break for a moment I'd like to telephone Assistant State's Attorney Kowalski and check on her wellbeing and that of the infant in her care." Fraser stood to attention in Inspector Thatcher's office as he made his request. "I would also like to speak to Lieutenant Welsh regarding the current situation with George Molton."

Fraser had spent the morning reorganising the Inspector's filing cabinet as a punishment for 'his recent disappointing behaviour,' as she had put it. He had secretly quite enjoyed the task; while his superior officer's organisational skills were not nearly as bad as Ray's, the state of her office still left a lot to be desired. He had rediscovered several documents that had been misfiled over the last few months and Thatcher was grateful to him for that at least, although she tried not to show it.

The Inspector looked up from her computer as he spoke. "Well…" it was difficult for her to say no. Fraser had explained where he'd been for the last few days and, as much as she was disappointed by his sneaking around, she understood his reasons and she acknowledged that his intentions had been – as always – entirely noble. "Alright," she nodded. "Dismissed for now, but I still have other tasks for you."

"Yes, Sir," nodded Fraser and left the room.

He called Stella first and was pleased to hear that Silvina was doing well and also that Ray's babysitting had been successful. "I'll be busy here for the rest of the day, but if you need anything, just call," he said.

Stella thanked him and made a mental note to show her gratitude properly when she had the time and energy to organise something. She was friends with one of the directors of the Lyric Opera; he should be able to get her a couple of tickets for the best seats in the house, the thought. She knew Fraser would be pleased with such a gift. He would, of course, refuse to accept it at first she realised, so she'd have to insist. _He could take that mortician friend of his…or maybe I could set him up with someone? He really needs to find himself a nice girl, he deserves some happiness._

Lieutenant Welsh was pleased to hear from Fraser. He had secretly been concerned that something was wrong, so he was grateful when Fraser briefly explained the reasons why he hadn't been about for the past few days. Also, although Welsh would never admit it to his face, he had missed having the Mountie hanging around his police station. "I guess you heard about Molton," said Welsh.

"Yes," replied Fraser. "I was hoping you'd have an update. Ray is rather…um, fractious. He's keen to get back to work."

"I know, Constable," Welsh answered with a sigh, "and believe me I'd rather he was here working than not, but I can't risk it. Molton's lawyer is as slimy as they come and it would only take one wrong move from Vecchio to blow the whole thing," he explained. "I'm working on it, don't worry; I think we're getting somewhere. I've got the State's Attorney on my side and he's meeting with Bennett this afternoon. I have high hopes. Tell Vecchio I'll keep him posted."

"Thank you kindly," replied Fraser and replaced the receiver just as Diefenbaker came trotting out into the hall. "Oh, there you are," Fraser frowned. Dief had been hiding ever since they'd got back to the Consulate. "I have a short break now, so if you need to relieve yourself we can take a quick walk around the block."

Dief yapped.

"I don't see that it's any of your business," replied Fraser. "The Inspector feels this is a suitable punishment and I respect her decision."

Dief yapped again.

Fraser felt his face redden. Why did his wolf have to bring that up? He and the Inspector had made a promise never to mention their 'contact' again, so the least Diefenbaker could do was to do the same, he thought. "It has nothing to do with that," retorted Fraser. "I would respect her decision even if we hadn't…even if I didn't…." he trailed off. "You might even consider helping me," he added.

Dief yawned and walked away.

xXxXx

That evening, Stella and Ray were sitting on the couch watching an old movie. It was one of Stella's favourites. When Ray had suggested they put the video on she had hesitated; they used to watch it when they were married and she wasn't sure if she was in the right frame of mind for reminiscing.

She remembered how Ray used to surprise her with a romantic dinner – take out, of course – with candles on the table and some soft background music. He always seemed to know when she'd had a stressful day and he wanted her to relax when she got home. Dinner would always turn to dancing and then, invariably, dancing would turn to sex and then they'd put on an old movie and fall asleep in each other's arms. She missed the warmth and comfort of his arms. And she missed the sex. She glanced across at him. He was feeding Carmen and he looked so contented as he smiled down at the tiny baby.

_Why couldn't I just have given him what he wanted? Maybe if we'd had a baby none of the other crap would ever have happened?_

Stella had always told herself that her unwillingness to have children was not the main reason for the breakdown of their marriage. There were so many other reasons – it had all gone so horribly wrong – but what if having a child had changed Ray? Or changed her? Maybe they wouldn't have grown so far apart? Maybe…

Ray looked across at her. "You OK?" he asked, concerned at the sadness etched on her face.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, far too abruptly.

Ray frowned. "You can go to bed if you're tired," he suggested. "I could, er…that is I don't mind…um, I'm happy to stay the night…if ya want me to."

For a moment Stella was stunned. _He wants to stay…I want him to stay… _

"I mean, I'll sleep on the couch," he clarified. "So, er, so I can be here for Carmen."

"Oh," replied Stella. For just a brief moment she'd thought…hoped, maybe…that she hadn't misread his intentions. "Um, that would be…er…thank you, Ray."

Ray smiled at her. "I'm glad you don't hate me…after what I said yesterday," he said. "Thanks," he added.

Stella smiled back. She would never hate Ray, no matter what stupid thing he did next, she could never hate him. She owed him too much, her life would have gone down a very different path if it wasn't for him and she would be forever grateful to him for showing her how to love and what it meant to be loved by someone in return.

Ray looked into her eyes and felt a surge of emotion. Spending time with Stella like this had been wonderful. He still loved her. His head was screaming at him not to get too sentimental – he knew how dangerous that could be – but he couldn't help himself. "Y'know, it could have been just like this," he said, quietly.

"Don't," Stella reprimanded him. "Please, Ray." She stood up abruptly and carried her empty coffee cup out to the kitchen.

Ray sighed. He could have kicked himself in the head for saying that. "Stella…" he placed Carmen carefully on the couch with a cushion to stop her rolling off and ran after Stella. "I'm sorry," he said, spinning her round by her shoulder. "I didn't mean…"

"I know," replied Stella. "Look, Ray, this afternoon has been…well it's been nice." _Nice? Was that the best word I could think of?_

"Yeah," agreed Ray.

"You and me…as friends, I mean," Stella explained. "This is what I hoped for after… after we…" she trailed off. "I never meant to hurt you, Ray."

Ray nodded ruefully. _I know you didn't…but you did. More than I can ever tell you… _

"I tried to be who you wanted me to be," she continued, "I tried so goddam hard, but I just couldn't…" her voice cracked.

"Hey," said Ray, gently and pulled her into a hug. He hadn't seen Stella get this emotional since before the divorce. She had put all these barriers between them since then and even though there had been moments he knew that she was hurting inside for whatever reason, she would never show it in front of him. That had been one of the hardest things to cope with. The loneliness was bad enough, but knowing he couldn't hold her when she was hurting was like a knife through his heart.

Stella took two deep breaths and broke away from his arms, wiping the tears from her eyes with her hand. "I'm sorry about that," she said. "I keep doing this lately. Fraser tells me it's because of the sleep deprivation."

Ray nodded. He didn't dare to speak; the things that were running through his mind were too dangerous to voice in front of Stella. Their relationship was balanced on a knife edge. Something had changed and Ray couldn't explain it, but it felt good…peaceful, calm… One wrong move and he could screw up this delicate, fledgling whatever it was that they had and it would all be over again. He couldn't risk that.

"And I'd like it very much if we could stay friends," Stella continued.

_Yeah, that's what it is._ Ray realised. _We're friends now. _

"I want to be here for you if you need me, like you've been here for me today, but we can't if you keep going back to the past," Stella continued.

Ray nodded again. _But the past was good…_

"I really appreciate everything you've done today," she added. "I just can't cope with Carmen. I'm sorry if that's hard for you to understand…"

"No, it's OK," Ray reassured her. "I get it."

Ray had surprised himself today. This was the first time he'd ever spent any amount of time with a baby and, apart from a few nervous moments, he'd enjoyed it; even getting peed on. Stella was not like him, though; he knew that now. Well, he'd known it for a long time, of course. He'd observed her with Carmen earlier, she was…awkward with her. Ray had found it hard to watch.

Ray had always imagined having kids with Stella and he'd thought Stella would make a good mother - even though she hated other people's kids, surely she would bond with her own? Maybe he had been wrong after all…perhaps he had never really understood her at all…maybe they were just too different on so many levels for their marriage to work? Before they'd got married no one ever expected their relationship to last more than a few months, a couple of years at best, but they'd surprised everyone by lasting as long as they did. There were so many good times – so many - but ultimately their differences had been insurmountable.

Ray leaned forward and kissed Stella on the cheek. "Go and get some sleep," he said. He watched her walk away, his mind drifting again…but his thoughts were rudely interrupted by his phone ringing. He ran over to where he'd thrown his jacket across the back of a chair and pulled the device from his pocket.

"Vecchio….oh hi, Lieutenant….yeah…yeah…that's great. Serves the bastard right….yeah…well I guess I'll see ya tomorrow."

Ray clicked off his phone and glanced over to Carmen. Her eyes were drifting closed and he smiled at her. "Molton's being transferred to a federal jail overnight," he told her, not caring that she didn't understand. "It's over, we won. So, er, so I can go back to work tomorrow."

He had been looking forward to the prospect of spending another day with Carmen…and Stella…although perhaps with hindsight it might have been a bad idea after all.

"OK, so here's the deal," Ray continued, his voice barely more than a whisper. "You be a good girl for your Uncle Ray tonight so I can sleep."

He gently lifted her off the couch and carried her to her crib.

"Coz if I'm tired tomorrow there's a good chance I'll, er, kick Dewey in the head or somethin' and he won't like that," added Ray as he pulled her blanket up and tucked it in.

Of course Ray couldn't sleep anyway – he rarely did at the best of times - and at 3am, when Carmen woke for her feed, Ray was still awake…trying to get Stella out of his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5.**

"One BLT, extra mayo, jalapenos and onion on rye." Detective Jack Huey handed his partner the sandwich he'd requested. "How can you eat that for breakfast?"

"Easily," replied Tom Dewey, resting the wax-paper wrapped package on the steering wheel as he opened it. "What have you got?"

"Bacon," replied Jack with a grin. He glanced in the rear view mirror of the pool car they'd spent the night in. "Just what I need after a stakeout."

"Anything?" asked Tom with a mouthful of food. He was still hopeful that the last eight hours hadn't been a complete waste of time. His snitch had assured him the man they were after would show up at this backstreet insurance office, but other than the opportunity to beat Jack at over fifty rounds of I-Spy, the mission had proved fruitless. They'd seen no one apart from a couple of teenagers desperate to find somewhere to move their relationship to the next level.

"Who wants to lose their virginity in an alleyway?" Jack had asked.

Tom had had a sudden flashback to his own formative years and decided it would be best not to answer his partner.

All it had taken to move the young lovers along was a flash of the car headlights and then it had been back to I-Spy.

Jack had just finished his bacon sandwich, when the early morning calm was shattered by the sound of a scream. Jack shot a startled glance at Tom and leapt out of the car, with his partner following close behind, wiping mayonnaise from his face as he ran after Jack.

They were met by a young woman running the other way. She had a miniature dog on a lead with her and the animal appeared very excited about the sudden activity.

Tom showed the woman his badge. "Chicago PD," he announced.

"Oh thank god," replied the woman, panting heavily as she spoke. "There's a…a body…a dead body…" She pointed behind her.

Tom and Jack immediately drew their weapons.

"Stay here, ma'am," Jack instructed and they walked quickly around the corner.

They saw the body immediately lying in the middle of the alley and Jack approached the scene cautiously while Tom followed looking around for signs of danger.

Jack recoiled slightly as he crouched beside the body. It was a slightly overweight middle aged man. He was wearing an expensive suit which had been badly torn - presumably during a struggle, thought Jack. Blood had pooled at one side of the man's head.

"Bullet wound to the left temple," he told Tom. "And he was worked over, too…wait a minute…" Jack narrowed his eyes and stared closely at the man's face. Bruising and swelling had distorted his features and it took Jack a minute to realise he recognised the man. "Look who it is," he said, whistling a long note as he tried to make sense of the situation. "We'd better call it in."

xXxXx

"Thank you, well…well, yes…yes…keep me informed." Lieutenant Welsh slammed the phone down and sighed. Before he could think about the impact of the information he'd just been told the door to his office opened and Francesca stepped in.

"Knock, Miss Vecchio!" yelled the Lieutenant. He hadn't meant to take out his frustrations on the Civilian Aid, but he couldn't help it.

"Sorry," replied Francesca, rolling her eyes, "but I just got off the phone with Dewey. Conrad Bennett is dead. They just found him with a bullet through his brain. I thought you'd like to know."

Welsh let out a slow breath as things started to slot into place. "Thank you, Miss Vecchio," he said in a much calmer voice. "That's very interesting because I've just been speaking to the Feds. George Molton escaped from their prisoner transport truck last night. Killed two guards. He's still unaccounted for."

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Francesca. "And he came back here and killed his lawyer."

"It would appear so," agreed Welsh. "Seems Molton was less than satisfied with his legal representation."

"He was mad that Bennett couldn't get him released," noted Francesca.

Welsh thought for a moment. "Is Detective Vecchio here yet?"

Francesca glanced at her watch. "At this time in the morning?" she replied, sarcastically.

"Hmmm," nodded Welsh realising his mistake. "Get him on the phone."

Francesca raised her eyebrows at the Lieutenant's abruptness.

Welsh looked apologetically at her. "Please," he added.

xXxXx

"I wasn't sure if the Ice Queen would let you out to play today," Ray grinned as he walked down the steps of the Canadian Consulate to his car.

"Ray, liaising with you is part of my job," Fraser reminded him. "It would be remiss of Inspector Thatcher to prevent me from doing my job."

Ray said nothing. He'd seen the look his buddy had shared with his superior officer on his way out of the door. _Something queer is definitely going on there…_

"So what did you need me for today?" asked Fraser, keen to steer the conversation away from the Inspector.

Ray shrugged as he walked out into the road to open the driver's door of his GTO. "Dunno," he said. "I just figured there'd be some crap landed on my desk since I've been away for a couple days and, er, two heads are better than one, right? Even if one of 'em is Canadian," he added with a twinkle in his eye.

Fraser was about to object to the insult, but before he had chance the sudden movement of a bright orange SUV across the street caught his attention. "Ray, look out!" he shouted.

Fraser tried to run to Ray, but even his Mountie reflexes weren't quick enough. Fortunately his verbal warning had been enough. In a split second, Ray threw himself across the front of the GTO just as the other vehicle lurched across the road straight towards him. A shot rang out and Fraser threw himself against the car as Ray spun off the highly polished bodywork and landed on his back on the tarmac, the momentum sending him skidding a few feet before he could bring himself to a halt.

"Ray, are you alright?" asked Fraser urgently, kneeling beside his partner as the SUV sped off down the road.

Ray let out a groan. "Er, I think so…" he answered, reaching out a hand for Fraser to help him up. "Did you get the plate?"

"I did," nodded Fraser, mentally filing the sequence of numbers and letters as he pulled Ray to his feet. "The driver of that vehicle drove at you deliberately. Fortunately driving at speed is not conducive to firing a weapon with any accuracy."

"Greatness," muttered Ray. He craned his neck round over his shoulder, trying to gauge the damage. "It really smarts," he announced.

"Hmmm," nodded Fraser. "I'm not surprised. It looks like you've taken off a few layers of skin in places…and I'm afraid your t-shirt is ruined. Come inside and I'll patch you up."

"I love this shirt," sighed Ray. "This is not what I needed today."

"Or indeed any day, I imagine," offered Fraser. "You know if you had a little more meat on your bones injuries like this might result in less…"

"Meat on my bones?" repeated Ray incredulously as he started walking gingerly back to the Consulate. "You, er, you sound like my mum."

"Sorry, Ray."

Fraser held the heavy mahogany front door open for Ray who winced with every movement as he followed the Mountie inside.

"Take a seat," said Fraser. "I'll fetch the first aid kit."

Ray walked into the reception room and gingerly removed what was left of his t-shirt. "Ow…ow…ow…ow…" he said as he pulled it over his head. He held up the torn item and scowled at it. He spun an antique dining chair round and straddled it, folding his arms across the backrest and resting his chin on them.

Fraser walked back into the room carrying a first aid kit and a bowl of water. He set them both down on the table and began to inspect Ray's grazes and scrapes. "You were very lucky not to have sustained more serious injuries," he noted.

"Yeah," agreed Ray, "but jeez, it hurts more than gettin' shot."

"That's because the human body has a large number of nerve endings close to the surface of the skin," Fraser began to explain.

Ray's eyes glazed over as Fraser launched into a full lecture about pain receptors and other things Ray didn't understand, only to be cut short by Constable Turnbull poking his head around the door. Ray had never been so pleased see Turnbull in his life.

"Detective Vecchio, I have Lieutenant Welsh on the telephone. He needs to speak to you urgently," Turnbull explained.

"Oh, OK," nodded Ray. He suddenly remembered he'd left his cell phone switched off.

Turnbull left the room only to reappear seconds later with the telephone in his hand. "I think the cable will stretch," he said and slowly began walking backwards into the room making sure he didn't catch any furniture as he pulled the cable along the floor.

"Er, Turnbull…." began Ray. "I'll just take it in the hall."

"No, Detective," insisted Turnbull, turning round to speak to him. "I heard about your accident. Please remain seated. I don't want you risking further injury."

"Turnbull, it's just a couple of scratches…" Ray protested, but then he couldn't speak any more as he had to stop himself laughing.

Turnbull had somehow managed to get the telephone cable caught around his leg and as he attempted to untangle himself, he was only making the situation worse.

"Turnbull…" Fraser began and he moved to help him, but Turnbull waved him away.

"I'm alright, Sir."

"Turnbull…"

The younger Mountie wasn't listening. Ray stifled a snigger as Turnbull hopped around, trying to unwrap the cable from his leg.

"TURNBULL!"

Turnbull fell backwards onto the couch.

Fraser let out a sigh. "Please stop moving at once, Constable. I will extricate you."

Turnbull obeyed the order and Fraser freed him at lightning speed.

"Thank you, Sir."

"Now, perhaps it would be best if you simply transferred the call to the telephone in this room?" suggested Fraser, trying not to let the frustration sound in his voice.

"Oh, of course," Turnbull saluted and carried the phone back out to the hall.

A second later Fraser picked up the other handset. "Lieutenant, it's Constable Fraser. I must apologise for keeping you on hold for so long. I'll pass you to Ray."

Ray took the phone from his buddy with a grin. Watching Turnbull's idiotic antics had provided a much needed, albeit temporary respite from his thoughts about almost getting killed. Unfortunately his mood quickly darkened again. "He did what?" he exclaimed as Welsh told him about Molton's escape and Bennett's death. "Well, er, that might explain why I nearly got run down in the street just now….no, I'm OK, I think…"

Fraser listened with concern as Ray told Welsh what had happened. This new information only bolstered the Lieutenant's fledgling theory that Molton might be carrying out revenge attacks on everyone involved in sending him to jail.

"I'll be there in ten," said Ray, but his tenacious expression soon turned to one of disbelief at Welsh's next words. "What? No way, sir! I've done enough hiding from Molton." He turned to Fraser and covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "Welsh wants me to stay here until they find Molton," he scowled. "Jesus, I'm a cop not a baby."

Fraser took the phone from Ray. Ray grinned, assuming his buddy was going to tell Welsh what a dumb idea that was, but his hopes were dashed.

"…yes, sir…of course. Ray will be quite safe here; we'll extend him the full protection of the Canadian Consulate."

"What? Fraser!" Ray couldn't believe his ears. He tried to wrestle the phone back, but Fraser was not going to let him win.

"And if I may, sir, I suspect you are also on Molton's hit list, as it were," Fraser continued, turning his back on Ray to stop him grabbing at the phone. "Yes…yes indeed. We'll keep in touch. Thank you kindly."

"Fraser, I am not staying here all day," Ray insisted as Fraser put the phone down. "Molton is out there somewhere and we should be out there looking for him. I wanna be the one to bring this bastard in."

"I understand your frustration, Ray, but the Lieutenant is correct," Fraser replied.

Ray sighed. Maybe they were right…maybe he shouldn't risk his skinny ass this time? Molton had been nothing more than a small time thug until he started killing people. Conrad Bennett wasn't a huge loss to the world, but the two prison transport guards had not deserved to die. Molton needed to pay, but he was clearly a guy on a mission and such single mindedness in an armed and dangerous criminal meant he was unpredictable. Ray suddenly started to wonder what Stella would do if he got himself killed by Molton.

_What if Fraser hadn't been there this morning and I'd been killed by an orange SUV? Jeez, what a pointless way to go…_

"Should have just stayed at Stella's…" he mumbled.

"You stayed at Stella's?" Fraser was a little surprised at the revelation.

"Er, yeah," nodded Ray. "To help out with Carmen, like you did."

"Ah."

"Don't 'ah' me, Fraser," snapped Ray.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't weird, or anything," Ray insisted.

"I wasn't suggesting that it was," replied Fraser, as he unpacked some cotton and gauze. Then he added, "Weird in what way?"

"I don't know? You're the one that ah-ed," replied Ray, screwing up his nose. "I just didn't want you to think...er, y'know…"

"Ray, I was merely surprised that you and Stella…well, it's just that I sensed an uneasy truce between you yesterday morning," Fraser tried to explain. "I did not imagine that you would want to push your luck, as it were."

"Meaning?" Ray frowned, adding, "Ow!" as Fraser began to tend to his grazed back and shoulders.

"Meaning, Ray, I have observed that the more time you spend in Stella's company, the more likely it is for a…" Fraser paused and tried to think of the right word. He didn't want to say 'fight'. "It's just that conversation between you and Stella often becomes heated in a very short space of time, if you don't mind me saying."

"You mean we fight all the time?"

"Indeed," nodded Fraser.

"Oh, yeah, well y'see Stella and me have, er, well it was Stella's idea…ow!"

"Sorry…What was Stella's idea?"

"Um, we talked last night," Ray explained. "She wants us to be, um, y'know…friends."

"I see."

"I'm glad you do, buddy, coz I can't…I just can't…" Ray trailed off.

"You don't want to be friends with Stella?" Fraser frowned.

"No, that's not it," replied Ray, shaking his head. "Of course I want to. It sure beats what we have now, don't you think?"

"And that would be…"

"That would be me holding onto some stupid hope that we'll get back together and her shooting me down in flames all the time," sighed Ray.

"Oh."

"Don't get me wrong, Fraser, I like being with her. I, er, I love being with her…I love her…" Ray trailed off as he realised that would never change. He would always love Stella and he had to learn how to process that while knowing they would remain divorced forever. He squirmed as the ointment Fraser was using on his raw skin stung a little.

"Sorry," said Fraser. "Please try to hold still, I'm nearly done." As he finished cleaning and dressing Ray's wounds, Fraser tried to think of something to say to his friend that would help with his turmoil, but he couldn't find the words. Ray often spoke about his feelings for Stella and since Fraser had known him, the pain never seemed to ease, no matter what advice Fraser offered. "Ray, if you don't feel comfortable with the idea of friendship…" he began.

"No, no I could get used to it," Ray insisted. "I guess I'm just not used to the idea of her being cool with it too."

"Understood."

"I did OK with Carmen," continued Ray. "I know it was just one day, but even though she peed on me and I couldn't figure out how to put that baby gym thing together, it was OK. It was a whole different world, like I was a different person. Maybe the person I always figured I was gonna be? Maybe this me isn't really me…er…oh, jeez, I don't know what I'm talking about."

Fraser wasn't sure either, but he didn't like where Ray was going with this.

" Y'know, there was a moment there, um…" Ray continued. "Last night at Stella's place, when, um…this is gonna sound dumb…"

"Perhaps," answered Fraser, honestly.

Ray turned his head and smiled. "That's what I love about you, buddy," he said.

"Sorry," answered Fraser, uncertain if he was meant to apologise or not.

Ray laughed and turned his head back. He stared at the framed charcoal drawing of a horse hanging on the wall in front of him and remembered how he used to sketch Stella when they were young. He still had the drawings.

_God you're beautiful, Stell…_

His chin felt heavy as he rested it on his folded arms which were still draped across the back of the wooden chair - heavy with regret, loneliness…all those feelings that he carried with him every day.

"Anyway, um…we were just sittin' on the couch watchin' a movie," Ray continued. "I, er, I had the baby in my arms and I think Stella was tryin' not to fall asleep too and I just thought…I just figured this is what regular people do, right? This is what families – couples with kids – do. And I don't even know if I'd have been any good at it – being a dad I mean coz, er, I love my dad, but he hasn't been the greatest role model, or whatever, has he? But, um…I guess it finally hit me that I am never gonna have that with Stella…" he trailed off again and buried his face in his arms.

Fraser scratched his eyebrow with his thumbnail. It seemed him that the thoughts of having a family with Stella had become stronger in Ray's mind since his divorce. Maybe he was reading his partner wrong – which rarely happened – but Fraser couldn't help feeling that perhaps the loss of the opportunity to have Stella's children hurt more now than it had at the time. It had become more of an issue for Ray now than it was when he was still married to her and in Ray's mind it was yet another indication of what a failure he was. Fraser had low moments – he had some very low moments – but he had learnt not to allow those feelings to crush him. He'd had to learn, he'd had no choice. Ray, on the other hand, was being crushed slowly under the weight of his emotions. He did not know how to stop it and Fraser felt powerless to help.

"I think I'm done here," said Fraser. He wanted to break the silence, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. Fraser tilted his head to the side to inspect his handiwork. He'd covered some of the deeper wounds with thin dressings to prevent infection. Ray's back would heal quickly enough, but Fraser wished he could stick a Band-Aid on his friend's other wounds – the ones you couldn't see. Those would take far longer to heal, Fraser acknowledged. If indeed they ever healed at all. "I'll find you a clean shirt," Fraser offered as he packed away the first aid kit.

Ray nodded and mumbled an unintelligible noise, which sounded a little like 'thanks', but it was muffled by his arms.

"Ray?" Fraser said, gently. _Oh dear…_

Ray's body began to shudder as he fought to keep his emotions inside, but he couldn't do it. As the sobs began to escape and the tears ran down his arms, all Fraser could do was what he always did when this happened - he silently put a supportive hand on the back of Ray's neck and let his friend know he wasn't alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6.**

"Here." Fraser handed Ray a neatly folded, navy blue t-shirt with the RCMP logo emblazoned across the chest.

"Thanks," replied Ray quietly. He took the t-shirt, but before he could put it on Inspector Thatcher walked in.

"Constable Fraser, I need you to…" she stopped short when she saw the topless detective. "For crying out loud! This is a consulate, not a locker room, Detective!"

"Sorry," mumbled Ray, carefully easing the shirt over his head.

"Er, Ray was injured earlier," Fraser explained.

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that," said Thatcher, trying her best to sound sincere, "but I would appreciate it if you remained fully dressed while the Consulate is open to the public. Fraser here seems to think that it's acceptable to walk around in his underwear in my presence, but…" she stopped herself as she realised what she'd just said. She glanced at Fraser who deliberately did not meet her gaze.

"What I mean is," continued the Inspector. "I have on occasion walked in on Constable Fraser in a state of undress…him, not me that is…I wasn't wearing my underwear...er, well I was of course, but underneath my clothing…um, er…" The Inspector realised she was just digging herself in deeper. She turned and left the room without saying another word.

Ray smirked at his buddy whose face had gone a noticeable shade of red. "So you and the Ice Queen hang out in your underwear when the Consulate is closed, do ya?"

"Ray!" exclaimed Fraser with a frown. "It would be most inappropriate for me to respond."

"That wasn't a 'no', buddy," winked Ray.

Fraser cleared his throat and hooked his index finger into the stiff collar of his tunic.

Ray grinned. Embarrassing Fraser was so easy. One day he would get to the bottom of whatever was going on between his buddy and the Inspector, he was too good a detective to allow them to keep him in the dark forever. They weren't having a relationship, Ray knew that for certain, but he was convinced there was something…odd looks here and there, the occasional hint of a smile…and yet she treated him like dirt, it didn't make sense.

_Unless he likes it? Oh my god…maybe Fraser is into all that sado macho…er, whatever that's called… _

For a moment Ray was half convinced he had an answer, but he soon came to his senses and dismissed it from his mind.

"How are you feeling now?" Fraser's voice brought Ray back to reality.

"Me? Oh…um, OK," Ray replied. For a moment he'd forgotten all about the breakdown he'd just had. _Thank god the Ice Queen didn't walk in ten minutes ago when I was bawling and snivelling._

"Would you like tea?" asked Fraser. He was still concerned about Ray's state of mind.

Ray shook his head. The glass of water Fraser had already got him had been enough to quench his thirst and ease his dry mouth back to some semblance of normality. "I'm, er, I'm sorry about all that," he said, hanging his head.

"Ray, it's alright. You don't need to keep apologising," Fraser assured him.

"OK," smiled Ray. "Y'know, I actually feel better for it," he added.

"Sometimes an emotional release is called for," noted Fraser.

"Yeah," agreed Ray. "I just need to stop freaking out over Stella. She, er, she wants to be friends and I actually never thought she'd say that. So, um, I guess it's all good."

Fraser nodded. "If you can successfully maintain a friendship with your ex-wife then that's quite an achievement," he said. "I don't believe many people are that lucky."

Ray nodded. "I guess you're right," he said. "The last couple of days have been, er, um…"

"Confusing?" offered Fraser.

"Yeah," agreed Ray. "So goddam confusing. Old feelings, see? Can't seem to shake 'em…but I have to. I have to change. I can't be that guy anymore."

Fraser nodded.

"I think I have to do something big," continued Ray.

"Like a parachute jump?" suggested Fraser

Ray's mouth fell open in disbelief. "No, Fraser," he replied. "Not like a parachute jump. I mean like dying my hair, or finding a new apartment…I'm not sure yet."

"Ah."

"OK, so enough crying over Stella," said Ray with a sudden newfound amount of determination. "What are we gonna do about Molton?"

"We are going to stay here until he is recaptured," replied Fraser, flatly.

"Really?" Ray answered incredulously.

"No, of course not," replied Fraser, getting to his feet and picking up his hat. He placed it squarely on his head and ran his thumb and forefinger around the rim. "There's an escaped criminal at large."

Ray grinned a huge grin and picked up his gun and badge from the table. For a while there he'd been worried that he was going to spend the next few days watching curling with Turnbull. "Pitter patter, let's get at 'er."

xXxXx

"You're disobeying a direct order from a senior officer." The ghost of Bob Fraser leaned forward and poked his head between the two front seats of the GTO.

His son glared at him.

"I know he's not your senior officer," continued Bob, "but even so, the Lieutenant placed you in sole charge of the safety of the Yank."

"I know," replied Fraser as quietly as he could.

"You know what?" asked Ray, taking his eyes off the road for a second to glance at his buddy.

"I know…where Conrad Bennett's office is," Fraser replied.

Ray sneered at him. "So do I, Fraser," he said. "That's where we're going."

"Indeed it is," nodded Fraser.

Ray shrugged. Sometimes Mounties were just downright odd, he conceded.

"What if he gets himself killed?" continued Bob.

Fraser shook his head.

"You think he won't? You think you can protect him out here?" asked Bob.

Fraser nodded. "We can't stay at the Consulate all day; we're more useful out here looking for Molton."

"I know that," said Ray, screwing up his face in puzzlement.

"Oh, this is because of your partnership thing, isn't it," sighed Bob. "He trusts that you have his back and you trust that he's not going to do anything stupid."

Fraser shrugged.

"Are you OK, buddy?" Ray glanced across to the passenger seat again.

"Ah, yes, I'm fine. I have a slight muscle strain, that's all," replied Fraser. He rubbed the back of his neck dramatically. "Thank you kindly for your concern."

"Now you're lying to him." Bob slid back into the backseat of the car. "It's a slippery slope, son. Buck Frobisher almost got us both killed once because of a lie. We'd chased two men through Miles Canyon, all the way to Whitehorse. It's an easy run – well you know that – but the weather was against us and the Altman brothers were determined. Buck tripped over a rock and twisted his ankle, but he got straight back up again. I knew he was in pain, but he insisted we carry on. When we finally caught up with the Altmans I assumed Buck could take Jono so I went for Artie, but the next thing I knew Buck was unconscious and I had a knife to my throat. To cut a long story short it was very fortunate that polar bear was passing by. Turns out he'd broken his ankle in two places. Buck, not the polar bear. The doctors said he was lucky he didn't lose his foot."

"Is there a point to all this?" sighed Fraser.

"Er, we're gonna see if anyone at Bennett's office knows anything about Molton," said Ray. "Are you sure you're OK, Fraser?"

"Oh, of course," nodded Fraser, turning round and glaring at his dad again. "I know what I'm doing."

"Good," replied Bob and Ray in unison.

xXxXx

"You call her." Ray handed Fraser his phone. "I, er, I can't speak to Stella right now. I just can't."

"Understood," replied Fraser and selected her number from the speed dial.

The morning's investigations had so far proved fruitless. Bennett's employees either weren't saying anything, or they genuinely didn't know anything. Fraser guessed that Bennett had run a legitimate legal business, but kept most of his staff in the dark about some of his more dubious clients. The less people who knew the less risk there was that someone would talk to the wrong people.

"I hope we don't wake Carmen," said Ray, anxiously. He wanted to make sure Stella was OK before they started visiting some of Molton's known associates. He remembered she'd said something about taking Carmen to visit Silvina this afternoon so he wanted to catch her before they left.

Fraser let the phone ring a few times before disconnecting the call with a shake of his head. "No reply," he announced. "I'll try her cellular telephone."

The cell phone was Stella's work phone so she may have it switched off, thought Ray. It was worth a try, but as the call went straight to answerphone his hopes were dashed. Ray had so much to say to her…_so why did I make Fraser call her?_ Ray turned away as Fraser left a message, but he couldn't help laughing as he listened to his buddy.

"Ah, er, um, good morning Stella," Fraser began, uncomfortably. "This is Constable Fraser, um…Fraser, er, Benton speaking. If you could please call back on Ray's cellular telephone when you get this message, Ray and I would just like to check up on you, er, I mean to check whether you are in need of assistance today." Fraser garbled. "Thank you kindly," he added.

"I hate talking to those dumb machines too," grinned Ray as a flustered Fraser handed him back his phone.

Fraser cricked his neck to the right and looked at Ray with the calmest face he could muster. "I have no idea what you mean," he lied.

Ray's grin grew wider. "C'mon," he said, gingerly stretching his sore back. "Let's go check out Puccini's Bar. That other guy said Bennett liked to meet clients there sometimes, so, er, someone might give us a lead on Molton."

"Right you are," nodded Fraser and strode purposefully towards the GTO, wondering why he found talking in public so easy, but talking to an answerphone so difficult. _It's worse than talking to an attractive woman._

They drove the short distance to the bar and got out of the car. A tall skinny man was outside opening up for the lunchtime trade. He switched on the bright neon sign and hooked the main door against the wall. Ray walked over to him.

"Chicago PD," he announced, flashing his badge.

"Not more of you!" exclaimed the man. "My customers are gonna take their custom elsewhere if this place is crawling with cops."

Fraser and Ray looked at each other and frowned, but then Huey and Dewey walked out of the bar.

"Vecchio? What are you doing here?" asked Jack Huey.

"Yeah, Welsh told you to lay low," added Dewey. "There's a guy out there wants a piece of you, remember?"

"Thanks for your concern," replied Ray, sarcastically. "Don't worry about me; we're keepin' our heads down."

"Have you obtained any pertinent information at this establishment?" asked Fraser, as Diefenbaker circled the detectives impatiently.

"Maybe," replied Jack, pulling his leather bound notebook from his jacket pocket. "Molton has a storage locker over on Queens and we've got the names of two more possible associates."

"We'll take the lock-up. You go put the squeeze on his buddies," said Ray.

"And since when did we take orders from you?" asked Dewey indignantly.

"Since I'm working under the radar," replied Ray. "So I should probably, er, not go introduce myself to Molton's goons."

"He has a point," noted Jack.

"Alright, alright," agreed Dewey reluctantly. "Call if you find anything."

"Likewise," nodded Fraser. Jack tore the page he'd scribbled the address on from his notebook and handed it to the Mountie.

As they drove across town, Fraser rested his elbow on the door of Ray's car and tapped his lips with his fingers.

"What are ya thinking about?" asked Ray when they were stopped at traffic lights.

"Nothing," replied Fraser. "Well, obviously not nothing," he added.

Ray shrugged. If Fraser didn't want to share his thoughts that was perfectly OK. Ray was finding driving really uncomfortable as the cuts and grazes on his back began to heal. He fidgeted in the seat trying to find a position that didn't put pressure in the worst areas, but it was impossible.

Fraser was actually thinking about Ray and Stella, but of course he didn't want Ray to know that. Ray had bounced back to his usual self after his breakdown earlier, but Fraser knew the matter was by no means dealt with. Ray would have to talk to Stella about the concept of being friends. Stella needed to understand how he felt and she also needed to make Ray aware of her expectations or it would never work. Fraser had already realised that one of the biggest problems for Ray was that Stella – much like Fraser himself – did not feel at all comfortable talking about her feelings. Fraser wondered if the breakdown of their marriage would have been quite so destructive and painful for both of them if she'd been able to overcome her difficulties with communication. Perhaps the marriage may not have broken down at all?

Fraser glanced across at his partner who was still squirming. "Your back?" he offered.

"Yeah," nodded Ray. "It feels like I wanna scratch it all over."

"I would not advise that at this stage of the healing process," noted Fraser and Ray nodded in agreement. "If you get the opportunity to soak in the bathtub later, I can assemble a blend of roots and leaves to add to the water which should help with the discomfort."

"Thanks," replied Ray with a half-smile. Adding roots and leaves to his bathwater sounded pretty gross, but he was willing to try anything. "It's driving me crazy. Is this the place?"

Fraser checked the address and nodded. "Unit twelve twenty three," he said.

Ray pulled his phone from his pocket as they walked in, just to make sure he hadn't missed a call from Stella, but there were no messages. "She's probably taken Carmen to the hospital like you said," Ray mumbled.

"Are you concerned?" asked Fraser, picking up on the tone of Ray's voice.

Ray shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe. No," he said.

Fraser frowned and tugged at his left earlobe. "That's not a very clear answer, Ray," he said.

"I'm sure she's fine," said Ray, this time speaking more positively. "She's not as incontinent with babies as she thinks."

"You mean incompetent, Ray," noted Fraser.

"That's what I said," replied Ray. "Here it is. Twelve twenty three."

Dief barked loudly at the door of the storage unit.

"Of course we don't have a…" began Fraser, but before he could finish his sentence, Ray had fired two shots at the lock and kicked the door down. "Warrant," added Fraser, unnecessarily.

"It's OK, I'm not officially working this case," grinned Ray.

"I'm not sure that makes any difference from a legal perspective," frowned Fraser as they stepped inside.

The storage unit was neatly packed with sealed cardboard boxes. Fraser took out his penknife and began slicing open the packaging. "Hmm," he said as his opened the first box. "Hmmm," he added as he opened another.

Ray had been distracted by a locked suitcase, but his curiosity was piqued by Fraser's hmmm-ing. "What've ya got?" he asked, walking over to join his buddy.

"Alcoholic beverages," replied Fraser as Ray peered into the boxes. "My guess is these are all illegally imported from Europe." Fraser pulled out a bottle of vodka and read the label which backed up his theory. "What's in the suitcase?" he asked, glancing across the small room.

"Can't get it open," replied Ray, looking around for something he could use to force the lock. A bullet from his gun would cause too much damage to the contents to be useful. He spotted an old metal chair and pulled off one of the legs.

Fraser held the suitcase as firmly as possible while Ray smashed the lock. The lid of the suitcase flew open and to their surprise crisp, clean, US dollar bills floated up into the air. Most of the notes were bundled together with elastic bands, but one had split open.

"Woah," said Ray. "I did not expect all this."

"It's counterfeit," announced Fraser, placing one of the green bills under his nose and inhaling deeply.

Ray decided it best not to ask what counterfeit money smelt like. "So, Molton has his dirty little fingers in a lot of pies," noted Ray. "Scumbag."

"Indeed," agreed Fraser. "You should contact the station and arrange for a team to collate this evidence. Although the question of our presence here and the means of our entry into this unit is likely to give the defence team cause to claim these items are inadmissible as evidence."

"We had reason to believe there was, er, a life in danger," replied Ray with a shrug.

Dief barked in agreement.

"We did?" queried Fraser.

"Yeah, course we did. Mine," grinned Ray. "Quit worrying buddy, we'll nail this creep," he continued, reassuringly. "Pity we didn't have time to, um, to track all this down before Molton escaped, or we wouldn't have had to go through all that crap with Conrad Bennett in the first place," he added.

Fraser nodded. He was a little concerned about Ray's penchant for bending the truth, but if the outcome was that a murderer went to jail then Fraser conceded it was acceptable. He'd done similar things himself, not that he'd admit to Ray of course.

Ray started dialling the number for the Twenty Seventh Precinct. He deliberately avoided speaking directly to Lieutenant Welsh; he wanted to put off that particular conversation – the one about disobeying orders – for as long as possible. After explaining the situation to Francesca, Ray was about to call Dewey as he'd promised, but his phone rang before he had chance.

"Vecchio," he snapped. "Hey, Dewey, are you, er, psychic or something? What's up?"

"You're not gonna like it," replied Dewey's voice. "We've got two possible locations that Molton could be hitting on today. One is a house in Edgewater and the other is an apartment block over on Beverly."

Ray's blood ran cold as Dewey read out the addresses. He clicked off his phone and turned to Fraser.

"What is it, Ray?" asked Fraser with concern.

"It's got personal," Ray replied and he ran out of the door. "The bastard is going after Welsh's wife…and Stella."


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPETR 7.**

"If the bastard hurts Stella..." Ray tried to focus on the road ahead as he raced through the streets to Stella's neighbourhood.

"We don't know what his plans are at this juncture," Fraser pointed out.

"Oh c'mon, Fraser. He had the two addresses for a reason," replied Ray. "He's gonna make me and Welsh pay by hurtin' the people we love." Ray swallowed hard as he jumped a red light.

Fraser's hat slid across the dashboard as Ray screeched the GTO around a corner.

_We should have seen this coming…_

Their profile of George Molton had been all wrong. Until yesterday they'd all thought he was nothing but a thug; hired muscle, a guy the big boys turned to when they wanted someone to do their dirty work. Within the space of less than twenty four hours he had become the sole suspect in three murders and was apparently involved in a liquor smuggling ring and a money counterfeiting operation, both of which undoubtedly meant he was connected to some high powered criminals. Now Stella and Mrs Welsh were in danger. Fraser closed his eyes and hoped they reached the two women in time.

They were five minutes away from Stella's building when Ray's phone rang. Fraser answered it. "Constable Benton Fr...oh, yes Detective Dewey. I see...oh dear...but there's no evidence to suspect she has come to any harm? Good...yes...we're almost there."

"What?" snapped Ray, desperate for information.

"Detectives Huey and Dewey arrived at the Lieutenant's house moments ago and discovered signs of a break in and a struggle, but no sign of Mrs Welsh," Fraser explained, his voice grave.

"He's got her," breathed Ray, trying to hold himself together. "And now he's gone after Stella...oh god, Carmen! Fraser, the baby could get...oh jeez..."

Fraser couldn't think of anything to say that would put Ray's mind at rest. It was actually encouraging that Mrs Welsh was missing and Fraser knew Ray would already have realised that. It suggested that Molton did not intend simply to kill her and Stella, but he had more likely planned to kidnap them both to use as bait and as bargaining tools.

At last they pulled into Stella's street. Ray flung the GTO into a parking space at an angle and he and Fraser leapt out of the car, leaving the doors wide open. Fraser flipped his hat onto his head as he ran after Ray. They burst in through the main doors and headed up the stairs.

"Stella!" Ray banged on her apartment door with his fist. "Stella! Are you in there?"

To Ray and Fraser's great relief the door opened. Stella stood there with her hand on her hip and glared at Ray.

"Thank you for waking the baby!" she said though gritted teeth. They could hear Carmen crying from the other room.

Without a word of explanation Ray manhandled Stella back inside the apartment. "Get Carmen," he ordered her. "We need to get you out of here."

"What the hell are you doing?" exclaimed Stella.

"I'm sorry Stella," said Fraser as he ran into the apartment. He picked up Carmen's bag and quickly began to fill it with some of her things. "We'll explain later. You and Carmen are in danger, we need to leave now."

"Oh my god!" breathed Stella. She turned towards the bedroom, but Ray had already fetched Carmen from her crib and he came running out with her in his arms.

"Diapers," said Ray, urgently throwing an opened pack at his buddy. "You got everything else?"

"I believe so," replied Fraser, stuffing two bottles of formula milk from the fridge into the bag. "Let's go."

A bewildered Stella slipped her feet into a pair of old grey sling-backs and grabbed a warm sweater from a hook on the back of a door.

Fraser slung Carmen's bag across his shoulder and held the front door open. Ray handed Carmen to Stella and drew his gun. The baby was still crying and Stella looked at her with sympathy. _Hasn't this poor kid been through enough already?_

Fraser held Stella back by the shoulder, allowing Ray to go first and make sure it was safe. Ray held his weapon tightly as peered down the hallways, checking first left then right. He turned and nodded to Fraser, breathing a sigh of relief and they all raced along the corridor.

Fraser quickly explained what had happened to Stella as they ran. Stella couldn't believe it; she'd met Mrs Welsh on a few occasions at official functions and she couldn't imagine what the woman must be going through.

Ray paused for a moment by a doorway with a large, green neon 'Exit' sign above it. "Back stairs?" he suggested.

"That may be prudent," agreed Fraser. It would mean going through the underground parking area, which offered less of an escape route if Molton was already down there, but it was a better alternative than running out into the open.

Fraser crouched down and took Dief's muzzle in his hand. "Go. I'll meet you back at the Consulate," he said, looking the wolf in the eye and enunciating perfectly. Dief began to protest, but Fraser shook his head. "No," he insisted. "It's too dangerous. You'll be safer on foot."

Dief hesitated, but deep down he knew Fraser was right and he ran off.

Fraser, Ray and Stella walked down the concrete steps as quickly as they could. The click-click of Stella's heels echoed around the stairwell, as did Carmen's cries. Stella held the baby tightly, trying to calm her, but with little success. Her own heart was beating so fast with fear that calm was the last thing she felt.

xXxXx

"Here, extra strong, two sweeteners." Francesca placed a hot cup of coffee on Lieutenant Welsh's desk. He stared at it for a moment, gathering his thoughts, before nodding appreciatively.

"Thank you, Miss Vecchio," he said, quietly.

"Any news?" asked Francesca.

Welsh shook his head and stared at his coffee again.

Francesca pulled up a chair and sat down at his desk. "You know, we have everyone on this," she said, supportively. "We'll find her," she added with a smile.

Welsh sighed a deep sigh. "If you don't mind, Miss Vecchio, I'd like to be alone. I have some phone calls to make."

"Sure," agreed Francesca, but she didn't get up from the chair.

"Please," insisted Welsh, raising his eyebrows for emphasis.

"Why don't you come and sit at my desk when you've finished on the phone?" suggested Francesca. She didn't think he should be alone at a time like this.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do," began Welsh with another sigh, "but I really don't need you getting in my way. I've been a cop for a long time, Miss Vecchio, I know how these things play out. We need to stick to protocol; it works, trust me. I trust my people to do their jobs and I have to get on with mine."

"But this is your wife, Harding," said Francesca, reaching out and grabbing his arm.

"I realise that," replied Welsh, sharply.

"As long as you also know that…that we're here for you," smiled Francesca.

A sudden lump in his throat caught the usually gruff Lieutenant by surprise. "Thank you," he said, his voice cracking with emotion. "Now please, get out of my office."

Francesca went back to her desk just as the phone started to ring. It was Ray calling in with an update. "Thank god," said Francesca when she heard that Stella and the baby were safe. "No…nothing, no sightings yet…yes, I'll tell him."

As Francesca hung up the phone she turned to see Welsh standing in the doorway of his office.

"That was Ray," she explained. "They're taking Stella Kowalski to the Consulate."

Welsh nodded and thought for a moment. It was true what he'd said just now to Francesca; he had been a cop for a long time, but in all those years, this was the first time that his wife had ever been caught up in any danger.

The Lieutenant's marriage had been a long and happy one; happy, Welsh realised, because he and his wife didn't live in each other's pockets. Mrs Welsh led her own life, a series of part time jobs and voluntary work and regular nights out with her girlfriends – the theatre, or a meal at a restaurant - while Welsh had his job with the Chicago PD…and very little time for anything else. They slept together, ate breakfast together and occasionally dinner - if Welsh was home in time - but otherwise they spent very little time together. Welsh had never taken a moment to consider what his life would be like without her, but now he was faced with the very real possibility that his wife could be killed at the hands of George Molton and he couldn't keep a clear head. He desperately tried to keep his emotions separate from his work, but this time he just couldn't do it.

_The last time we went out together was my birthday…the show was terrible, but the meal was good. And the company…_

Welsh closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He realised Francesca Vecchio and half the squad room were staring at him, but he didn't care.

Francesca glanced at Detective Miyoshi who was sitting at her desk going over all the information they had on Molton for what seemed to her like the hundredth time. Both women were worried about their Lieutenant. No one had ever seen him like this before. Francesca's brother – the real Ray Vecchio – had been deep undercover for almost two years now and it had taken Francesca a long time to put the anxiety to the back of her mind. She could at least take some comfort in the knowledge that her brother had a team of FBI agents watching his back – _hopefully not like those idiots they usually send here_ - but she still worried about Ray every day. Mrs Welsh, however, had no one. She was in immediate danger and Francesca could only imagine what must be going through the Lieutenant's mind.

It was no good. No matter how hard he tried, Welsh couldn't bear to sit around any longer while the one person he cared most about in the world was out there somewhere at the hands of an armed lunatic. His eyes snapped open.

"Miyoshi, get a squad car ready, we're going out there," he ordered and disappeared back inside his office, only to return seconds later with his gun holster strapped around his shoulders and his jacket over his arm. He nodded silently to Francesca and she nodded back. "To hell with protocol," muttered Welsh as he marched out of the squad room, with Miyoshi running to keep up with him.

xXxXx

"Ray…we're being followed." Fraser looked in the rear view mirror one more time to be sure. This is what he'd been dreading.

"Orange SUV?" asked Ray, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

Fraser shook his head. "Dark blue Honda Accord," he replied. "Another rental car, I imagine."

"I'll try to lose him." Ray slammed on the brakes and screeched the GTO around a sharp bend.

"Stella, is Carmen's seat secure?" asked a concerned Fraser, steadying himself with one hand on the dashboard as he spoke.

"Yes," replied Stella, tugging on the seatbelt again just to make sure. She glanced nervously out of the back window. "Has he got Annie Welsh in that car?" she asked.

Fraser narrowed his eyes and tried to see into the car which was still on their tail. "I'm not sure," he replied.

"Get Frannie on the radio," said Ray, urgently. "We need back up, now! If I can't shake him I'll lead him to the old tyre factory."

Fraser nodded and picked up the radio handset as Ray jumped a red light and raced the wrong way down a one way street, narrowly avoiding an oncoming pick-up truck.

Stella looked at Carmen; she'd fallen asleep. How she could sleep with all the noise and movement Stella had no idea. She remembered how Ray always fell asleep on the long drive up to her parents' summer cottage in the mountains. They followed the same routine every time; Ray would drive for the first three hours, then they'd take a break at a roadside diner – the kind that Stella's parents wouldn't be seen dead in – then Stella would drive the rest of the way. Ray would always make two new mix tapes especially for the journey, one for when he was driving and one for when Stella took over. They'd have their fill of pancakes at the diner then Stella would pull the driver's seat upright before setting off again - which always annoyed Ray, although he always moved the passenger seat back so he could get comfortable - and he would be asleep before the end of the second song.

Stella smiled at the memories, but suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by a gunshot.

"Get down!" yelled Ray and Stella instinctively laid across Carmen's car seat.

Another gunshot; both bullets missed by some distance, but it was clear that Molton was not about to let his target get away. He fired off another four shots as he swerved across the road.

"If there's any damage to my paintwork, Fraser…" began Ray through gritted teeth, but he decided it was best to keep the rest of that thought to himself.

The abandoned tyre factory loomed ahead and Ray drove into the yard and screeched around a pile of old tyres. Despite Ray's best efforts, Molton was still on his tail and the blue Honda skidded after them. If it had just been Molton in the other car Ray would have tried to force him into losing control of his vehicle, but he couldn't risk it, not with the distinct possibility that Lieutenant Welsh's wife was in the car too.

Molton opened fire again and this time a bullet bounced off the roof of Ray's car. "That is it!" exclaimed Ray and he skewed the GTO round in a figure of eight. "No one shoots my car and gets away with it."

"Ray…" began Fraser, "look out for that…" but it was too late. Ray hit an oil patch on the tarmac and the GTO went into a spin, bursting a rear tyre. Stella screamed and clung to Carmen's car seat; the baby was still fast asleep, oblivious to the unfolding drama.

In the hands of a less experienced driver, the GTO could have ended up on its roof, but Ray knew how to keep control and within seconds he'd brought her safely to a halt. He glanced at Fraser; that had been a little too close for comfort.

"I'm sorry, Ray," said Fraser apologetically. "I was distracted; I should have seen it earlier."

"I didn't see it at all," admitted Ray.

They both leapt out of the car. Ray quickly opened the back door and pulled Carmen from her seat while Fraser opened the other door and grabbed Stella's hand. The sudden disturbance woke Carmen with a start and she started screaming.

"Ssshhh…ssshhh…" Ray tried to calm her as they ran for cover behind a heap of discarded tyres. They heard the screech of tyres and then another gunshot.

"He's crazy!" exclaimed Stella taking Carmen from Ray's arms so he could pull his gun from its holster.

"Quite possibly," agreed Fraser. He took his spyglass and peered around the tyres to assess the situation.

"Where is he?" asked Ray urgently, reaching into his jacket pocket for his glasses.

"About twenty five metres in that direction," replied Fraser, pointing out into the yard.

Ray sneered at him. "What's that in American?"

They all ducked as Molton fired off another round.

"Approximately eighty two feet, Ray," replied Fraser, as he pocketed his spyglass. "He has Mrs Welsh with him."

Ray moved so he could see across to where Molton was standing. Mrs Welsh was standing close beside him with her arms folded in a defiant posture. Ray had only met the Lieutenant's wife once before at a New Year ball arranged by the Captain of the Twenty Eighth precinct. Ray hated formal functions, but he'd felt obliged to attend. He'd spent most of the evening avoiding Stella who, unlike Ray, went to every ball and gala dinner she was invited to and had crossed paths with Annie Welsh on several occasions.

"I don't have a shot," Ray announced, grunting with frustration. Molton was deliberately using Mrs Welsh as a human shield. "So what's the plan?" he asked.

"Shouldn't you wait for backup?" asked Stella.

Fraser and Ray both looked at her as if she'd just said the most ridiculous thing they'd ever heard. Stella rolled her eyes and clutched the still screaming Carmen closer to her. "This is why we never had kids," she muttered.

"What?" Ray wasn't sure if he'd heard her correctly, but before he could press her for an explanation the sound of another three gunshots filled the air.

"Follow my lead," said Fraser suddenly and before Ray could stop him, the Mountie was on his feet and walking out into the open with his hands in the air.

"Fraser!" hissed Ray. Why did his buddy always do this? Just a quick discussion of the plan would be nice beforehand, and why couldn't Fraser follow his lead for once? Ray sighed, now was not the time for this. Lives were in danger; he and Fraser could bicker about this later.

"I am unarmed," Fraser announced in a loud voice.

"You're the Mountie," Molton snarled.

"Constable Fraser, RCMP," Fraser introduced himself. "I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father and for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture I remained, attached as a liaison officer with the Canadian Consulate."

"I want your pal Vecchio," snapped Molton. He grabbed Annie Welsh by the arm and dragged her a few paces closer to Fraser.

"Detective Vecchio does not wish to engage with you at this juncture," began Fraser. "However, in just a few moments you will be surrounded by armed police officers. Please release your hostage and surrender your weapon immediately." He lowered his hands and began walking slowly towards Molton.

Molton laughed. "Are you for real?" he asked.

"Yes," concurred Fraser, seriously. "You have no hope of escape. Your only option is to capitulate."

A smile spread across Ray's face. _Oh OK, I got this plan. Fraser distracts him with words like capitulate while I sneak up on him from behind._ It was a tried and tested plan that had worked for them many times before.

Ray surveyed the yard for cover, but there was very little. He couldn't see how he was going to move from this heap of tyres without Molton seeing him. _Sorry buddy, change of plan…_

"Stay down," Ray whispered to Stella. Then, he emerged from his hiding place with his gun trained on Molton. "Here I am," he grinned.

"Ray?" Fraser's head snapped round in surprise.

"Detective, I was starting to think you were a coward," said Molton, deliberately trying to wind him up. "Now get your wife and kid out here too."

Ray shrugged. "Dunno what you're talkin' about," he said, walking slowly across the yard to join Fraser.

"C'mon, I can hear the kid from here!" exclaimed Molton. Carmen was still inconsolable.

"Oh, right," nodded Ray overdramatically, as if he'd suddenly understood. "See, er, thing is…that's not my kid. Come to think of it, that's not my wife either."

"Do I look stupid?" growled Molton.

"Yeah," nodded Ray. "From here you look stupid and…"

"Have you had time to reconsider my suggestion?" Fraser interrupted his friend, acutely aware that throwing insults at Molton would only aggravate him further.

"The one where I come quietly?" asked Molton with a sick laugh.

Fraser nodded.

"Yeah, I've considered it," laughed Molton. Then his laugh turned to a sinister snort and he put his gun to Mrs Welsh's head.

Fraser glanced at Ray. They both realised this man was prepared to murder more innocent people to secure his freedom.

"Get your lady friend and the baby out here right now," he shouted. "Or I pull the trigger."

Annie Welsh looked surprisingly calm. Fraser had quickly realised that she was a very strong person, but although she was doing everything she could not to let Molton see how scared she was, Fraser's sharp eyes saw the pulse in her neck quicken.

Ray held his breath and glanced quickly back at where Stella was hiding with Carmen. He desperately tried to see an easy way out of this mess, but he couldn't. He wasn't going to hand them over to Molton, but he couldn't let him shoot Mrs Welsh in cold blood either.

"An exchange," said Fraser, suddenly. "Ms Kowalski and the baby for Mrs Welsh. Then we can begin negotiations to secure your freedom."

"What?" exclaimed Ray. Now what was his freak of a buddy doing? Surely they weren't actually going to give in to this guy's demands?

"Deal," agreed Molton after just a moment of hesitation.

"Fraser!" Ray couldn't believe he was going to put Stella and Carmen in direct danger. Then he caught the look in Fraser's eye. _So this is another new plan I haven't got a clue about…greatness!_

"Now if you would both kindly lower your weapons, we can continue in a more relaxed environment," Fraser said. He glanced at Ray, silently pleading with his eyes for his partner to go along with his suggestion.

Ray had to trust his buddy, even though he couldn't figure out exactly what Fraser had planned. He gave a tiny nod and Fraser returned the gesture.

Ray and Molton eyed each other; neither was prepared to be the first to drop their gun. Ray's breathing became heavier as he resisted the urge to shoot. Part of him – the part fuelled with adrenaline – was telling him he could take Molton out before the guy had a chance to pull the trigger on Mrs Welsh, but deep down Ray knew it wasn't worth the risk.

Molton considered Fraser for a moment. He couldn't help feeling that he should take the Mountie at his word. In all likelihood, Molton realised, he was right and there would soon be no other way out of this. He slowly lowered his arm and then, seconds later, Ray did the same.

"Thank you kindly, gentlemen," smiled Fraser. "Now…" he began, but – just as he'd anticipated - he was interrupted by the sudden, loud arrival of two police cars. One carrying Lieutenant Welsh and Detective Miyoshi and the other driven by Tom Dewey, with Jack Huey at his side. Of course Fraser had heard the vehicles approaching and had been timing his actions to perfectly coincide with their arrival.

Molton spun round at the noise and in an instant Fraser rushed forward and pulled Annie Welsh to safety. Molton raised his gun again and fired at Ray, who threw himself to the left to avoid the bullets, firing off two shots of his own. Molton tried to run, firing another round as he fled, but he didn't get far as Huey and Dewey raced to cut him off. Before Molton realised what was happening, he was on the ground, face down, with Ray's knee in his back and three standard issued police weapons pointed at his head. "You are under arrest," announced Ray with a satisfied sigh.

Lieutenant Welsh raced over to his wife. She was shaking now and Fraser had a supportive arm around her shoulder.

The Lieutenant gave Fraser a nod of acknowledgement and thanks. "I heard you needed back-up," he said, dryly.

Tears of relief began to run down Mrs Welsh's face and Fraser left the couple to embrace. He glanced over to see Ray and Dewey dragging Molton to his feet and was about to join them when he heard Stella's voice. The tone made his head snap round and his blood run cold.

Stella was leaning against the side of Ray's car with Carmen in her arms. "Fraser," she said. Her voice sounded shaky and she was staring wide eyed at the baby. "Fraser!" she repeated more urgently now. "Carmen…it's Carmen!"

Fraser ran as fast as he could to join her. As he approached he could see a huge patch of red blood on the tiny infant's pink cardigan. _Oh please…no..._

Carmen was still screaming, deep sobs that welled up from inside her. Stella had never heard a baby cry like that before and she held her as if she might break. All the colour drained from Stella's face; she'd tried to protect her, how could this have happened?

Fraser lifted Carmen from Stella's arms and laid her on the front of the GTO. "It's alright," he said in as calm a voice as he could muster. "Ssshhh…" _She must have caught a stray bullet… _He pulled open her cardigan looking for the wound, but what he saw made him stop in his tracks. For a moment he didn't know what to think. Although there was a lot of blood on her cardigan, there was less on the little yellow t-shirt she had on underneath. Fraser stared at her for a second as he began to piece things together in his mind. He had to be certain, though, so he ripped her t-shirt away and then the baby vest she had on underneath it to reveal her tiny body, perfectly unharmed. He ran his hands over the smooth pink skin to be sure and briefly allowed himself a sigh of relief.

"It's alright," he announced, knowing his relief would only be momentary. "Carmen is uninjured…it's not her blood." He turned and looked at Stella, pausing for a moment before continuing. "I think it's yours."

Stella gasped. Suddenly she was aware of an intense, burning pain in her shoulder and she looked down at herself, noticing the blood on her shirt for the first time. "Oh…" she whimpered and slumped against the car.

"Ray…Ray…RAY!" yelled Fraser. He picked up Carmen and crouched beside Stella. "You're going to be alright," he said encouragingly.

Ray ran across the yard, recognising the urgency in his buddy's voice. "Oh jeez, Stella!" he exclaimed when he saw what had happened. He turned back to Huey who had realised something was wrong and was following Ray a few paces behind. "Call 911…hurry!" Ray yelled, throwing his phone to the other detective. Then he fell to his knees beside Stella and took her hand in his.

"Ray, take Carmen," Fraser instructed, but Ray couldn't hear; his focus was entirely on his ex-wife. "Ray, please, hold Carmen," repeated Fraser.

This time Ray nodded and took the still screaming baby from the Mountie's arms. He watched helplessly as Fraser pressed his handkerchief over Stella's wound. The surge of pain caused her head to spin and she slumped forward.

"Stell," said Ray, desperate to keep her awake. "Hey," he smiled when she opened her eyes. "Stay with me," he said and cupped the side of her face with his free hand.

Stella slowly turned her head and looked at her shoulder. Her blood had already soaked through Fraser's handkerchief and she began to panic; she felt her throat tighten as though she couldn't breathe.

"Stella, look at me," Fraser ordered, checking her pulse with concern. "Stella….Stella…"

"Stell…look at me," urged Ray. "I love you," he declared, his voice cracking.

Stella finally turned her head away from her wound and looked into his eyes. "I love you too, Ray," she breathed. "I'm…sorry."

Ray wasn't sure what she was apologising for, but he smiled back at her. "I'll always love you," he said, fighting to hold back tears. "And…and I really want us to be friends."

"Me too," she replied, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Then, as the distant sound of a siren grew louder, Stella's strength finally evaded her and she fell against Ray, her eyes drifting closed.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8.**

"So, she's gonna be OK?"

Ray slumped down into the hard plastic chair with relief when he heard the doctor's reply. The young, male, doctor continued talking – something about muscle damage and physical therapy - but Ray hoped Fraser was listening to that part because he couldn't take any of it in.

Stella had been in surgery for over an hour and the more time passed the more Ray had convinced himself that she wasn't going to make it. Fraser had become increasingly concerned about his state of mind; Ray had refused to let him take Carmen, instead holding her tightly and rocking her gently in his arms, mumbling incoherently.

"When can I see her?" Ray asked, interrupting the doctor in full flow.

"Soon," replied the doctor. "She's in Recovery at the moment. Someone will fetch you when she's settled into her room." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his white coat and smiled; one of the best parts of his job was telling people that their loved ones were going to be alright and he could see that Ray loved this particular patient very much indeed.

Ray nodded silently. He understood that he'd have to wait a little longer. The last couple of hours had felt like a lifetime to him, so a few more minutes couldn't be too bad.

"Thank you kindly," Fraser said to the doctor and the younger man walked off down the hospital corridor. Fraser sat down in the chair next to Ray and watched as the colour slowly returned to his friend's face.

Ray glanced at the Mountie and the corner of his mouth twitched into a smile of relief. "I thought…I thought we'd lost her, Fraser," he said quietly.

Fraser nodded. He had to admit he'd been very worried about Stella as they'd waited for news.

Carmen suddenly stirred and opened her eyes. Ray smiled fondly at the tiny infant in his arms. "Lucky kid," he said. "Wish I could've slept through the last couple hours."

Carmen started to cry.

"Why don't I take her to see her mother?" suggested Fraser, reaching out to take the baby from Ray. "I'm sure Silvina will be up for a short visit."

"Yeah," agreed Ray. He needed some time alone to think, he had so much whirling around in his head it was making him feel nauseous.

"Are you alright?" asked Fraser in a low voice as he lifted Carmen into his arms.

"Sure," replied Ray, unconvincingly. "I'll, um, I guess I'll be in with Stella if I'm not here when ya get back."

Fraser studied his partner for a moment. The shock had hit him hard, but now that they knew Stella was on the road to recovery Fraser hoped that Ray would be alright too. The last few days had left his friend in more of a state of emotional turmoil that he'd been letting on and that was before Stella had almost died.

_I wish I knew how to help you, Ray…_

"Right you are," he said. Relationship advice was not one of Fraser's strong points at the best of times and Ray's issues with Stella were so complicated and the scars ran so deep that he didn't know where to start. He would try though – again - but it would have to wait for later.

Ray watched as his buddy walked away with Carmen. He let out a huge sigh and closed his eyes. He really needed to see Stella, he needed to apologise – he was convinced that the whole thing was his fault. If he hadn't arrested Molton in the first place, then the scumbag wouldn't have been out to get him and Stella wouldn't have got tangled up in the mess.

_Oh that's just stupid; I had to bring him in…but this is still all my fault…_

xXxXx

Stella opened her eyes at the sound of Ray's voice.

"Hey, sorry," Ray whispered. "Didn't mean to wake ya. Doc said I could come in."

Stella smiled. "It's OK," she replied in a croaky voice. "I wasn't asleep." She reached out her hand and Ray tenderly took it in his.

"Er, can I get ya anything?" he asked.

"No, thank you," Stella replied. She swallowed hard, her throat felt dry and coarse. "Um, maybe water?" she added.

"Sure," smiled Ray and poured some water from the jug that had been left for her into a plastic cup. Stella looked pale and weak, not surprising considering what she's been through, Ray realised, but it was still hard to see her in such a state. He held the cup to her lips and she sipped at the water.

"Fraser took Carmen to Silvina's room," Ray explained as Stella licked her dry lips.

Stella nodded. "I…I don't know what happened," she began. "I thought we'd be safe, I was trying desperately to protect the baby…" she trailed off and took a breath. Talking was an effort for her.

"Sshhh," urged Ray and placed the plastic cup back on the side. "Don't worry about it, the bullet must've ricocheted off the car or something. Nothing you could've done."

"I didn't even feel it at first," Stella continued. "Even when I saw the blood I thought…" her voice cracked as she remembered the terror she'd felt when she thought Carmen had been shot.

"It's OK," said Ray, squeezing her hand. "You're OK now."

Stella nodded. "I'm tired," she said. "Would you just…I'd like it if you could just stay with me for a while."

"Sure," smiled Ray. _As a friend…_

Stella closed her eyes again and tried to sleep. Her body ached all over. The pain in her shoulder was under control with medication, but she was having trouble relaxing.

"Stell…"

Stella's eyes snapped open.

"Sorry, forget it," said Ray, instantly regretting disturbing her.

"OK," Stella's voice came out as a whisper. There was obviously something on Ray's mind, but she wanted to rest. They could talk later when she had regained some of her strength. She closed her eyes again and tried breathing slowly, just as Fraser had shown her the other day when she'd been having difficulty sleeping, but it didn't seem to help.

"It's just that I…" Ray's voice cut into her thoughts again.

"What is it, Ray?" she said as her eyes opened again. She hadn't meant to sound so abrupt, but this really wasn't a good time for a conversation.

"Nothing…I, er…" Ray knew he should wait until another time, but he needed an answer to something that had been going round in his head since before the shooting. "It's just…back there in the tyre yard, ya said something…just before I went out to confront Molton…" he trailed off, hoping Stella would remember and could give him an explanation.

Stella's brow furrowed into a frown. Much of what had happened that morning was a blur; shock and pain and medication had clouded her mind. "What did I say?"

Ray squeezed her hand gently. "It doesn't matter," he said.

"Obviously it does," she replied. "Just tell me what's on your mind."

"OK," he said. "Fraser was already out there and there was no cover, so I had my gun in my hand and I was just gonna walk out and you said…you said, 'this is why we never had kids'…or something like that."

Stella sighed. Of course, now she remembered. She'd been scared and angry and she'd vocalised a momentary thought that, in retrospect, should have stayed silent. Of course Ray, being Ray, had picked up on it and now he needed to know what she'd meant. "It was nothing, Ray. Forget it," she said.

"Oh, it's just…" Ray wasn't going to be able to forget it. "I…er..I figured ya must've meant…um… We didn't have kids because…" he prompted.

"We didn't have kids for a lot of reasons," sighed Stella.

"But what's it got to do with Molton?"

"It's not Molton, Ray, it's you," replied Stella.

Ray was stunned. He'd always assumed it was his fault - _everything that goes wrong in my shitty life is my fault_ - but he'd never actually had Stella confirm his fears in such a direct way before.

"No, Ray, I'm sorry, that came out all wrong," said Stella, quickly. "I just meant that…" she stopped to gather her thoughts. She knew how badly Ray could be affected by things she said – she'd watched him fall apart at the end of their marriage and she didn't want to hurt him anymore. "We don't need to talk about all this again," she said eventually. "You wanted kids and I didn't, it's a simple as that. We've been over this a hundred times…water, please, Ray."

"Oh," Ray helped her to sip from the cup again while he tried to make sense of her words. "I…I don't understand," he said, quietly. Stella was deliberately avoiding answering his question. What did this have to do with him confronting Molton?

"I tried, I really did," said Stella, fighting back tears. "I wanted to change my mind all those years ago, I wanted to make you happy, but no matter how much I tried I just couldn't ever see children in our lives, Ray. I'm sorry…"

"Why not?" Ray couldn't understand.

"Oh Ray, don't you get it?" Stella's bottom lip quivered. She'd always hoped he would understand one day, but it was clear that he didn't have a clue. "You're a cop…"

"Cops have kids," Ray interrupted her. This wasn't really about his career choice, was it?

"Not cops like you," continued Stella. She was so tired, but she realised Ray needed an answer. It was the least she could do for him now. This wasn't the only reason, but it was a huge part of it. She thought Ray had understood all those years ago, but suddenly it had become an issue again.

_Why can't you just let it go, Ray? Why can't you let me go?_

"Ray, every day when you walked out of our front door I never knew if you'd be coming back," she began. "I never knew if I'd see you again and if we'd had children…"

"Oh," Ray let go of her hand suddenly and got to his feet. "So it really was because of me. Why didn't you say somethin'? If you wanted me to quit I'd have quit years ago! You know I never wanted to be a cop in the first place…I…I…" he turned away and tried to process the new information.

"No, Ray," replied Stella, tears streaming down her face now. Why couldn't he understand? "That's just it, I didn't want you to quit. You're a good cop, Ray, a great cop. So many people owe their lives to you; people who would be dead if you…if you…if you didn't do the things you do. You're not like other cops; just look at your citations. You…you risk your life every day to get the scum off the streets so people are safe." Stella felt as though she'd run a marathon after saying all of that.

"So…let me get this straight…" Ray ran his fingers through his hair. "If I was a regular traffic cop, we could've had kids?"

"No, Ray, you don't understand…" Stella reached out her hand again, but Ray didn't take it. "Please, forget I ever said anything. I was just…just scared, it's not important now."

Ray shook his head; his breathing was becoming shallow and rapid. He couldn't look at his ex-wife in the eye. How could he have been so stupid? Why hadn't she explained this to him before? _Oh god, I think I'm gonna throw up…_

Ray ran out of the room and almost straight into Fraser who was coming the other way.

"Ray?" Fraser was instantly concerned. He glanced briefly at the door to Stella's room and then turned and ran after his friend. "Ray, what's wrong?" For a horrible moment he thought something had happened to Stella.

"Leave me alone," snapped Ray. "I can't…I can't talk about it…now…please…"

Fraser stopped in his tracks and watched as his friend ran around the corner and out of sight. Then he turned back to Stella's room. Surely they hadn't had another fight? Not now. Less than an hour ago she'd been fighting for her life on the operating table. Fraser sighed and walked towards Stella's room. He paused for a moment, listening through the door and wondering if he should go in. Whatever had happened was really none of his business and he couldn't help but feel awkward about getting involved. If and when Ray was ready to talk about it he would and Fraser would be there to listen, but until then he thought it was probably best to keep his distance. He didn't understand Ray and Stella's relationship at the best of times. Then he heard Stella's sobbing noises through the door and he couldn't ignore her. He knocked gently on the door.

"Stella, it's Fraser, can I come in?"

There was no reply, but Fraser opened the door anyway. Stella was trying to reach the box of tissues on her bedside table, but the pain in her other shoulder was preventing her from moving too much. She looked up at Fraser as he entered the room. Her eyes were so sad and vulnerable and Fraser wanted to run to her and envelope her in a comforting and protective hug. He hesitated though. Their friendship had changed in recent days and Stella had opened up to him more than she had ever done before, but Stella was like him in so many ways and he could see that she was fighting to maintain her dignity in front of him.

"I'll get them," he said, and grabbed the tissue box. He pulled out a tissue and pressed it into her hand and she tried to whisper a 'thank you', but she couldn't make any coherent sounds.

Fraser saw the half empty cup of water and helped her take a few sips; then he silently gave her a moment to compose herself.

"Did…did you see…Ray?" she asked eventually, between sobs.

"Yes," replied Fraser. "I don't mean to pry and please accept my apologies if I've overstepped any kind of mark, but…" he trailed off, not sure how to phrase his question without sounding overly inquisitive.

Stella couldn't help but smile. Fraser's Canadian politeness was either endearing or downright irritating depending on the circumstances. Right now she was grateful for it; anyone else would have demanded to know what had gone on between her and Ray to leave them both so upset. "It's OK," she managed to reply. "I said some things I shouldn't have…"

"Oh dear."

Stella nodded. "I love him," she said. "But I can't seem to stop hurting him…" she broke down completely.

"Sshhh," urged Fraser. This was not aiding her recovery at all. He put a gentle hand on her good shoulder and tried to soothe her.

"Please…please go see if he's OK…" she sobbed. She winced in pain as the sobbing racked through her body.

"I will," Fraser promised. "In a moment," he added. "Should I fetch a nurse?" He was starting to get worried about her distressed state.

"No, I'm fine," she replied. She tried the breathing exercise again and it seemed to help a little.

"That's good," encouraged Fraser. "Slowly, that's it."

"Tell him it's not his fault," whispered Stella. "Tell him it was just one tiny part of how I felt…and tell him I wouldn't have wanted him to change for anything…not for me, or for our children…"

"Sshhh…" urged Fraser.

"Just tell him…I'm sorry."

Fraser sighed. So this was all about them not having children. He'd had a bad feeling that would be the case. He nodded. "I will," he said. "Now you really need to rest."

xXxXxXx

"It's your turn again, buddy." Ray growled and pulled his sleeping bag up over his head.

"But Ray, it was my turn last time." Fraser sat up and frowned. "And the time before that." The sound of Carmen's cries wafted through Stella's apartment for the third time since he and Ray had turned out the lights.

"Nope," came Ray's muffled voice. "Got that wrong there, Fraser; definitely your turn."

Fraser wriggled out of his familiar bedroll and got to his feet. He didn't really mind getting up for Carmen again, he knew he'd already had more sleep than his partner anyway and he wished he could find a solution to the baby's sleeping troubles for all of their sakes, but it was proving difficult.

Stella was still in hospital. She was making a good recovery and would hopefully be able to come home soon, but in the meantime Fraser – and Ray – had moved into her apartment to take care of Carmen. Ray knew he didn't need to be there, but he didn't want to sleep alone, not yet – the nightmares were starting to become a problem.

Fraser returned from the bedroom with Carmen in his arms. Ray had screwed himself into a ball on the couch, still completely wrapped in the sleeping bag, but Carmen's loud, piercing screams cut right to his eardrums and he couldn't ignore the noise any more. He threw back the corner of his sleeping bag and scowled. "I've changed my mind," he announced. "I never, ever want kids. Ever."

"Right you are," nodded Fraser. He knew Ray didn't mean it, although right now even Fraser wanted nothing more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. He moved Carmen from one shoulder to the other in an attempt to make her comfortable. He started singing her a gentle lullaby and stroking the soft hair on the top of her head, but it made no difference to her distress.

"Why is she doing this?" asked Ray, who had by now resigned himself to another sleepless night.

_At least I can't dream about shit when I'm awake…_

"I wish I knew," replied Fraser. "I believe she's still having trouble with intestinal gas. It can cause a lot of pain in infants. However, I've exhausted all the remedies I know, I'm not sure what else to do now."

"Poor kid," said Ray. "She's had one hell of a start in life."

"Agreed," nodded Fraser.

"D'ya want me to feed her again?" asked Ray.

Fraser shook his head. "I don't think she wants to feed," he explained, "it was only thirty seven minutes ago since our last attempt and she hardly took any milk on that occasion…and I've checked her diaper." He paused and thought for a moment. "You know, Ray, you may be onto something," he said.

Ray looked puzzled.

"Take off your shirt," Fraser instructed.

"Huh?" For a moment Ray thought he'd drifted back to sleep and this was a weird nightmare.

"Babies find comfort in skin to skin contact with their mothers," Fraser tried to explain. "Perhaps Carmen's lack of such bonding time with Silvina is contributing to her current state of unrest?"

"I'm not her mother," noted Ray, wincing as Carmen screamed out again.

"I realise that," nodded Fraser, swinging the baby over onto her stomach and rocking her from side to side. "It's a working theory at this juncture, but perhaps she may be comforted by skin to skin contact with you? You have been spending a lot of time with her recently."

"So have you," Ray pointed out. "Why don't you do it?"

"I'd be happy to, but it would be easier for you to remove your shirt than it would be for me to partially undress," replied Fraser, looking down at himself and the usual night time attire of red longjohns he was wearing.

"You commando under there?" sniggered Ray. "No wonder the Ice Queen likes you to wear those," he added with a wink.

Fraser decided it would be best not to answer.

"OK," said Ray with a shrug. "Anything to help," and he quickly pulled his t-shirt off over his head and threw it on the floor.

The Mountie carefully undressed Carmen and then passed her to Ray.

"Mother and child bonding time is very important," explained Fraser. "Carmen and Silvina have missed out in recent days, but I'm sure once they are reunited permanently they will be able to make up for lost time."

"Hope so," agreed Ray. "C'mon kid," he said, glancing down at the tiny bundle in his arms who was still screaming at the top of her voice. "No wonder you drove Stella crazy," he added, shaking his head.

"For the first two years of their lives, Inuit babies are carried around by their mothers," Fraser began. "The women wear the amauti, or amautik – a type of coat with a built in pouch on the back for carrying the baby. The child is never separated from the mother, which naturally encourages bonding."

"Oh, er, I see," said Ray. He wasn't really interested in an Inuit story right now. All he wanted was for Carmen to go to sleep so he could do the same.

"It also keeps the child safe from frostbite," added Fraser.

"Well it's pretty warm in here," noted Ray, dryly. "I don't think, er, frostbite is gonna be a big problem."

"No, of course not," acknowledged Fraser.

"So, d'ya have a, er, an amalfi?" Ray asked.

"Amauti, Ray," Fraser corrected him. "Amalfi is a town in Italy."

"I knew that," lied Ray.

"And no, I'm afraid I don't," added Fraser. "It merely thought you might be interested."

Ray rolled his eyes. "I guess," he replied, unconvincingly. He sighed heavily and wrapped his arms around Carmen. "Get yer motor runnin'…" he began to sing. "Head out on the highway…!"

"Ray, Ray, Ray, RAY!" Fraser interrupted him. "Whilst singing to her is an excellent idea, perhaps something a little more…gentle might be appropriate?"

"Oh, er, yeah," agreed Ray. Maybe Steppenwolf had been a poor choice after all.

Ray tried to remember a few nursery rhymes, but he had to make up most of the lyrics as he went along. Just as he thought he was going to collapse with exhaustion, he realised that Carmen had started to calm down. He grinned at Fraser. "It's working," he whispered.

"Apparently so," agreed Fraser with a smile. He too was in desperate need of sleep. Although he had, in the past, gone for several days without sleep, he'd usually been out in a glacier field in pursuit of a malfeasant, so he'd been in a heightened state of alert and of course the freezing cold had helped to keep him awake. Here in the warmth of Stella's apartment he was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open. He glanced at Diefenbaker who had so far managed to sleep through the whole night, despite the noise. _One of the few advantages of being deaf, I imagine…_

"So, er, the doc said when Stella gets out of the hospital she's gonna need help for a while," said Ray, keeping his voice low.

"Indeed," agreed Fraser, a little surprised at the sudden conversation.

"So, I offered to move in here for a while," continued Ray. "Stell seemed OK with it."

"Silvina will be here," noted Fraser.

"Yeah, but she'll, er, she'll have Carmen to look after and she's been pretty sick herself," said Ray.

Fraser nodded. It was a kind gesture on Ray's behalf, he just hoped his friend was doing it for the right reasons.

"We're cool now, y'know," added Ray. "Me and Stell, I mean."

"I'm glad to hear it, Ray," smiled Fraser.

Ray and Stella had done a lot of talking over the last few days and things were finally starting to become clearer to Ray. He felt so guilty about upsetting her when she'd just come out of surgery and he'd apologised over and over, but they'd talked about it and Ray could see Stella's point of view now. He understood that her views on his career and the way he chose to live his life were not the only reasons why she hadn't wanted children and Stella had apologised for making it sound that way. Their friendship was back on track, Ray just hoped he didn't blow it this time.

"Hey, Fraser," said Ray, glancing down as Carmen finally closed her eyes. "Imagine you're a woman…"

"Oh dear," Fraser shook his head. This wasn't the first time Ray had started a conversation like this.

Ray laughed. "C'mon, buddy, go with me on this. Imagine you're a woman. Would you wanna have my babies?"

Fraser rubbed at his eyebrow with his thumbnail. "You know, Ray, as I've said before, I'm really not qualified to answer questions such as these."

"Stella says it wasn't me, y'know, it wasn't really my fault, it was her," continued Ray.

"Then why do you need an answer from me?" asked Fraser.

"Well, I just wanna know where I stand," explained Ray. "Say, um, say I meet someone one day and she wants to have kids…"

"If you're considering the possibility of meeting another woman who wants to have children with you then this discussion is moot," Fraser pointed out.

Ray laughed and then immediately clapped his hand over his mouth and looked down at Carmen, hoping he hadn't woken her up. Fortunately she seemed content to sleep. Finally.

"What I mean is, if I meet a girl and we, y'know, things move on and we start talking about having kids, I just wanna know how that feels," Ray explained, "because…what if I decide I don't want kids after all?"

"Ray, may I suggest that you're worrying yourself about a situation that has not arisen yet," Fraser pointed out. He was glad to hear Ray talking about the idea of meeting someone else, it was the first time he'd ever really talked about a serious relationship with anyone other than Stella. Fraser realised it was a very good sign that his friend had finally started to come to terms with the direction his life had taken.

"Yeah, I know," admitted Ray. "But, the thing is, Fraser, it wasn't a big deal, not really. I mean, I always figured we'd have kids one day, or maybe we wouldn't. I dunno…it's not like we talked about it all the time, or anything."

"Stella wasn't keen, though," replied Fraser.

"No," agreed Ray. "She wasn't." He shrugged. "Thing is, since we got divorced…" he paused. "Since then, I think about it all the time. Well, not all the time, but a lot, y'know."

Fraser considered his friend's admission. "Perhaps not having children is not really the issue here?" he suggested.

Ray nodded. "It's about not having Stella, isn't it," he admitted sadly. He closed his eyes in a moment of reflection. Then he opened them again and a small smile danced across his lips. "But, now we're friends and so maybe it, er, it won't seem so bad now? I mean, I haven't lost her completely have I, so maybe that'll be enough?"

"Maybe," smiled Fraser. He really hoped this new start for Ray's relationship with Stella would mean he would finally be able to move on from the breakdown of their marriage.

"Y'know, you didn't answer my question," Ray pointed out.

"Which question was that, Ray?"

"Would you have my babies?" grinned Ray.

Without skipping a beat, Fraser replied. "No."

Ray's grin grew wider. "I'm kinda glad to hear it, buddy."

THE END.


End file.
